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“I didn’twantto be. ’Cause if I let suspicion take hold, there was only one thing to be done.” He straightens and props his hip against the counter, crossing his arms.
I let my gaze travel over his features. At every crossroads, whether or not it’s been a conscious decision, he’s chosen me. So many things in my life have come to an awful end. What we have between us can’t go that way. I won’t let it.
“If he remembers…”
“He’ll realize I’m FBI.”
“I want you to stay in here for the rest of the day.”
I open my mouth to protest, and Lorcan holds up a hand. “Whenever that moment comes, he’s going to want to kill you. His sense of self-perseveration is stronger than any other instinct. He’ll take you out right in front of me and apologize after. There’s no mercy, no consideration for my feelings or your life.”
I swallow.
“I need to talk to some people, make it seem as though business is carrying on as normal. Do you have an FBI contact?”
I nod. “Dai Qing.”
He runs both his hands through his hair, frustration spilling out of him. “Am I really going to do this?”
“If he wasn’t your brother, I’d kill him myself. My whole family, Lorcan… one way or another, they’re gone because of him and your dad.” I move between his legs, resting my hands on his hips. He gathers me tight with a sigh. “The reality is once Finn realizes we know about your dad, once he remembers I’m the rat, he’ll take action. If we wait, we might end up dead.”
Lorcan’s lips graze the top of my head. “I get what he’s done to you and your family. I understand why you’d want him dead. I would, too, if I was you. But for years, he’s been the guy I wanted to be like, the man I wished I could somehow become.”
The thought of him turning into Finn terrifies me. I press my palm into his chest, over his heart. “I’m glad you’re not him. I’m glad you’re a little softer, a little kinder, and a little more human.” Our gazes connect, and I say, “I love you, Lorcan.”
He sucks in a sharp breath and draws me tighter. “I wasn’t sure you’d ever say it.”
And then, because it feels as though the weight on my shoulders has eased, I say it again. “I love you.”
“My a chroi.” His lips find mine, brushing against them and then deepening the kiss as he turns us around. Without breaking contact with me, he lifts me onto the counter. “I’m going to keep you safe,” he murmurs against my lips. “I’ll do anything to keep you safe.”
To the soundtrack of moans and sighs, he proceeds to show me how loved I am.
The text comes in the middle of the night. My phone buzzes from beside the bed, and I snatch it off the nightstand. Lorcan shifts, and I hold my breath, hoping he doesn’t wake. When I’m sure he’s settled again, I glance at the display.
Warehouse by the water in one hour.
Finn.
My heart dips, threatening to fall to my feet. I stare at Lorcan’s sleeping form as I clutch the phone to my chest, muting the bright light of the home screen. He looks peaceful and strong, and like all the things I never knew I wanted but can’t imagine not having now. I ache to trace his features I love so much. It would wake him up, and I don’t want that. It’s the last thing I want.
These few months, Finn’s asked me to do any number of odd things. But he’s asked in person. Whether he realizes it or not, this lone text message tells me more than him coming here and beating down the door. I could ignore the message, pretend I slept through it. That only delays the inevitable.
I ease myself out of bed and get dressed. I cast a last look at Lorcan. If I make it out of this, he’ll be pissed at me for not waking him up. There are a lot of things I’ll sacrifice for my job, but not him. The idea of him being hurt or killed by his own brother or someone in his organization because of me is unacceptable. I love him. I won’t lose him too. This time, I’m going to save him.
At the walk-in closet, I key in the code he used the night of the extraction. Everything had been so chaotic he hadn’t tried to hide the numbers from me. Glancing at the bed, I gather as much ammunition and as many weapons as it makes sense to carry. There’s a lock-picking set nestled in amongst the ammo, and I grab it. Never know.
I’m not sure what to expect from Finn. He’s cocky enough to keep the meeting between the two of us and have us go head-to-head, but he’s also smart enough to never underestimate people. I select one more gun and tuck it into my waistband before sliding into my jacket and striding to the door.
Once it clicks shut behind me, I head for the entryway. I send a brief text to the emergency extraction number and to Dai Qing. Things can’t continue like this. It ends tonight.
Sean rises from his chair beside the door as I approach. Finn doesn’t have him, but there are at least a dozen men who could be at the warehouse with him.
He checks his watch and frowns. “Going out?”
“Warehouse.” I watch Sean’s reaction. What does he know?
His frown deepens. “Finn took five or six men there a couple hours ago.” He searches my face as I get closer. “Lorcan isn’t going?”