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I swallow hard. I don’t even know what emotion I’m swallowing down at this point. There is rage, there’s hatred, there is an intense urge to find her father and doveryunChristian-like things to him. But there is also a nearly overwhelming urge to reach over and pull her into my lap.
So that’s what I do.
Chapter 12
Cian
To my shock and absolute pleasure, Scarlett lets me pull her into my lap. I lean against the back cushion, wrap my arms around her, and just hold her.
She pulls her feet up to rest on the seat of the chair and seems to curl up.
“Thank you,” I murmur against her hair after a moment.
“For what?”
I run my hand up and down her back. “For letting me hold you like this.”
She huffs out a soft laugh. “I should thank you.”
“This is the first time I’ve felt like maybe I’m helping you by being here.”
She leans in against me more fully. “If you need to feel that, let me tell you, you are. Having someone want to be around me, want to be this close to me, is nice. It’s been a while. Besides Ruby and Mariah and Greta of course. It’s pretty…”
I work on not tensing up underneath her. “It’s pretty what?”
“Lonely.”
Jesus. My heart clenches.
“Where’s your mom?”
“She moved to Phoenix about ten years ago to be closer to some girlfriends. She was just…over this town.” She sighs heavily. “I don’t blame her. She and Brian stayed in touch though. They were still friends, so when he got sick, they talked about plans. She knew he planned to leave me and Ruby the house and business. Mom wanted him to just sell it all and give us the money. She’s actually still a little annoyed with him for doing it this way. But he wanted us to have the chance to come back and have a second chance here if we wanted it. If we didn’t, or we try it and it doesn’t work, we can always sell. But the fact that he wanted to give us that chance made me want to try.”
He gave them choices. That’s great. But I think I’m on Judy’s side here.
“Let me take you away from this,” I say. I probably sound like I’m begging. But I will.
She gives a soft sigh. “I can’t.”
“I can take both you and Mariah away. Ruby too. Mariah would have a whole family to support her. A very cool cousin that she’d love. Grandparents she could be proud of. A grandmother who would love on her.” I take a breath. “Let me give you the family and community you need.”
She’s quiet in my arms. When she finally speaks, she breaks my heart. “I want to make up for how I was before, Cian. I want them to forgive me.”
I wait a few beats. I should let this go. We’re just getting to know each other. But, in the end, I can’t. “You can’t make people forgive you. You can just be the person you want to be now. If they don’t see it, or won’t let the past go, that’s on them.”
She doesn’t say anything.
“Doyouforgive yourself?” I ask.
She’s quiet and I think she’s not going to answer me. Finally though, she says, “I’m not sure.”
I tighten my arms around her. “That’s all that matters. Just work on that.”
She wiggles and I loosen my hold. I don’t want her to get up, but I can’t force her to stay on my lap.
But instead of pushing off my lap, she turns, straddling my thighs.
“I…” She stops, her gaze bouncing back and forth between my eyes. Then she mutters something that sounds like, “Fuck it,” and leans in and kisses me.