Page 140

He cups my face. “It is a good thing. Because I want to rush in and hurt anyone who hurts the people I love. But Mariah needs to learn to try to see deeper into other people sometimes. She's learning a lot of strength from you.”
“I want her to fight for herself. I want her to stand up. I don't want her to accept cruelty and intimidation.”
“I know. We have to teach her all of that. How to be forgiving, how to be compassionate, while still standing up for herself.”
All of his words reach into my chest and wrap around my heart. I feel it beating hard and a voice in my head tells me not to ask the question on the tip of my tongue.
Still, I do. “Wehave to teach her all of that?”
The look he gives me clearly saysreally? “In case I haven't made it clear, I love your daughter. I think she's amazing and I've had nothing to do with that, but I would really like to be around to watch her turn into the incredible woman she’s going to be. You and Ruby have been an amazing support system for her, and I’d love to see all the things she can accomplish with all of my people around her too.”
I swallow hard. It's difficult to force anything, air or words, past the tightness in my throat. “I'm not sure you have any idea how sexy it is that you feel protective of and amazed by my daughter.”
“I'm not sure you have any idea how sexy it is that you are a single mom who lets her daughter see that she's not perfect, but that she knows how to apologize and how to try again and to love so much even with a broken heart.”
My breath feels like it’s stuck in my lungs.
Of course, this whole thing with Cian and me affects and involves Mariah. I’ve nevernotrealized that. But we joked about her being a princess. We talked lightly about her meeting Saoirse and Abigail and Fiona. But now Itrulyrealize what this would mean for her.
Cian would be her Brian.
I wouldn’t be who I am without Brian. A lot of the good inside of me wouldn’t exist without Brian being a part of my life. After the hurt and rejection and confusion I’d felt with my father and Eli, I still understood love and acceptance and forgiveness because of Brian.
I feel tears fill my eyes.
That doesn’t seem to make Cian even blink. “I want to be out loud about you,” he says. “About us. About Mariah. And I don’t mean as Dean Brady. I meanme. I hate the hiding and lying.” He blows out a breath. “And I hate that we’re making Mariah quiet and making her hide the truth. She wants to be out loud about her family, thegoodthings, the happy things.”
“Okay,” I say softly.
His eyes light up and his brows arch. “Okay?”
“After next week. A few more days. You finish teaching or it will be awkward but then…okay.”
“Fuck,” he says, but it sounds almost reverent. “Yes.”
Then he kisses me with a passion and a sweetness I haven’t felt from him before. And I definitely can't speak. But I don't have any words anyway, so I just wrap my arms around his neck, pull him down on the bed, and hope that as I make love to him, he understands that my heart isn’t so broken anymore.
Chapter 31
Cian
Iwatch as the kids file into class on Thursday.
Leah ignores me as she walks past though I say, “Good morning. Good job on the quiz yesterday.”
She just keeps walking.
Still, it’s true. The quiz was practice for the big test tomorrow and she aced it. She’s not only strong willed, but she’s incredibly bright. I can only hope that she starts thinking for herself a little.
Mariah and I exchange a smile and nothing more as she comes through the door.
It still makes my day just a little better.
I think it just makes sense to like my future step-daughter and to know she likes me in return.
Right on Mariah’s heels is Henry.
Mariah turns to see who I’m frowning at and Henry nearly plows her over.