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They both look at me. “Hey. What’s up?” Mariah asks.
“I was going to say I need to sleep in here with you,” I say.
Greta frowns and sits up. “Oh. Sorry. We didn’t think to ask. My mom says it's fine I stay over.”
“Why aren’t you in your room?” Mariah asks.
“Cian is sleeping in there.”
Mariah tips her head. “So why aren’t you sleeping in there? You’ve slept together before.”
And I am blushing again. “Because it's not like that now. We’re not going to have sex.”
Greta is grinning at me. “I would love to know what happened between the two of you that has made him so gaga over you. I mean, he's been waiting for you fornineteenmonths. That is so romantic. And he's here looking for you after all this time? He wants you back.” She sighs dreamily.
Mariah grins. “I, on the other hand, donotwant to know what she did to make him so gaga.”
Greta giggles and throws a pillow at Mariah. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
Mariah laughs. “Yes, you did.”
I thunk my head back against the door. “Anyway,” I say, raising my voice. “I’m not going to be doing anything with him now.”
Both girls focus on me. “Why not?” Mariah asks.
“Yeah,” Greta agrees. “He's here. He's crazy about you. And he's… him.”
“Because I can’t date someone like that. Everyone knows who he is. He's rich and jets around the world, rock climbing, and scuba diving. He lives a totally different lifestyle from ours. He knows famous, rich people.” I’m working onnotjudging other people. But dammit. I’m here trying to prove to people that I’m happy doing a humble, basic service job and I cannotdate a guy who doesn’t even really have a job yet has millions of dollars at his disposal.
“You know that I believe we should all be trying to contribute in a positive way,” I tell the girls. There’s never a bad time for a learning moment, I figure. “And I just want a regular life,nothing fancy or exciting. I don’t need all of that. I don’t need private planes and exotic vacations. I just want to help keep people’s cars and trucks running so they can go to work and take their kids to school and make the most of their lives. That’s how you contribute to a community.”
And I’m hanging out with people like Amber, who does people’s hair, and her husband Tony, who works at the factory, and my sister who…okay, she strips and bartends, but only because people in this town won’t bring their kids to her for dance lessons. That’s what she’d really like to do.
Not only do I want to prove my change of heart to my hometown, but I also definitely want to prove it to my daughter and her friend. I can be a good role model here. I can teach them this lesson. A simple life, doing a job that contributes to the community and helps others, living a life that you can be proud of, not judging others, not making waves, those are all things to be happy with. You don’t need excitement or adventure. You can make up for mistakes. And you don’t need big, grand love stories.
I have shared with both Mariah and Greta what I was like when I lived here as a kid. I’ve been brutally honest. I was not a nice person. I was the girl that the girls like them didn’t like. I was a mean girl. The Leah—judgy, better than them, thought I had it all figured out.
I want my daughter and Greta, who has turned into a second daughter, to look at me now and want to be like me. Not like the girl I was then, but the woman I’ve become. Someone who can acknowledge her mistakes, can say she's sorry, and can change.
There's a knock on the door behind me and I suck in a surprised breath. I step away and open it. Cian is in the hallway.
“Everything okay?” I ask.
“Yeah. Just, your sister is in your bed. Didn’t really think I should sleep in there.”
I frown. “Ruby is in my bed?”
He nods. “She and Henry are not going to be sleeping together. Apparently.”
I sigh. “Great.” I glance back at the girls. “Anyway. We can talk about all this more later. You go ahead and stay,” I tell Greta. At this point, it would raise questions with her parents if I sent her home, or if I sent Mariah with her. It's better if we just all bunk here together somehow. But only for tonight.
I step out into the hallway. Cian barely backs up to give me space.
I slide past him, very careful not to brush against his body. No matter how much I want to. I go to my bedroom and open the door.
My sister is propped up against my headboard, reading. She is definitely ready for bed. “What's going on?” I ask. “I figured you and Henry would be in your room.”
She looks at me. “No way. I… can’t.” Her voice is shaky and I think she might be on the verge of tears.