Page 35
Story: Rags to Royals
Heat rockets through me. I couldn’t have kept my eyes from dropping to her mouth for all the money in the world. I remember not only the things that gorgeous mouth did to me, but I remember every word it said.
“That makes it even better. It means those werefantasies. Fantasies that you shared with onlyme.Fantasies that you askedmeto help make real. And fantasies are about the most personal, intimate things you can share with someone. Don’t fucking tell me that you were anybody but yourself during those moments.”
She’s staring at me, her eyes wide. She’s breathing faster and I’m guessing her heart is pounding.
Mine sure as fuck is.
“Okay,” she finally says. “You’re right. That was all me. That was me letting go. That was real. And I get why you have strong feelings about it. It was a very… fun weekend. But you’re not inlovewith me. That was lust. It was physical. Chemical. And you can’t tell me that you haven’t had amazing sex before.” She pauses. “Or since.”
Okay, now I’m pissed.
Again.
I never get pissed and I’ve been wound up since I got on the damned plane in Cara.
I don’t like being angry. Probably why I don’t do it very often.
“First of all, no, I haven’t had sex since,” I say tightly.
She frowns. “You’re telling me you haven’t had good sex since we were together?”
“I’m telling you I haven’t hadanysex since we were together. Except with my hand if you count that, which I do not.”
She opens her mouth to respond, but I lift my hand and press my finger over her lips, keeping her mouth shut.
“But here is why I’m mixed up and pissed off,” I tell her. “Ilovedfucking you. But the reason I can’t stop thinking about you is because of the program for single moms we brainstormed together. I fell in love with the woman who hadthatin her beautiful head and who got me excited and motivated todosomething amazing with it.”
Her big green eyes widen, but I don’t move my hand away from her mouth. I’m not fucking done.
“I thought we both had a sister who is an amazing single mom. I thought we were both proud of how we’d been a part of their support systems. I fell in love with the program we dreamed up for moms who don’t have family and friends like our sisters do.
“I fell in love with the way you got me excited about making a difference. With the way you gave me a purpose, a way to use my connections and money to do something important.
“I fell in love with how you mademefeel important and passionate about something I coulddo. A way to finally contribute the way my siblings do. I told you how I feel like the sidekick to my brother and sister. How I’ve always wanted to find a way to measure up to the amazing things they do. I confessed some pretty fucking vulnerable stuff. And I thought you understood all of that.”
I let my hand fall away from her face now.
“But you’re Mariah’s mom. Not her aunt. And that idea was all Ruby’s, right?” I ask. I don’t actually believe that, but I need to hear her tell me that. “Sheis the one who came up with the way to bring single moms together to support one another when they don’t have family or friends to help.”
I’m watching her face carefully, but I’m on a roll and I don’t stop. “Did you get the idea to help your stylist friend from Ruby too? You help her with her daughter’s school treats and projects and she does your hair in exchange? That seems like something Ruby would dream up.
“I suppose it’sRubywho loves elephants because of how the females create families and bonds that last all their lives.”
I take a breath. “See,that’swhy I’m annoyed. The fact that the sex wasphenomenalwas because Ilikedyou so fucking much. I felt like I really knew you. And vice versa. I’ve spentnineteen monthsmissing thatconnection. Not just your amazing body, and hot mouth, and greedy pussy, and dirty imagination. All of that too, for fucking sure, but it was especially incredible because of your brain and how you made mefeel.” I step back. “But it was all really me feeling that connection withRuby, right?”
I stand staring at Scarlett, watching her process all of that.
Is she going to keep lying to me? Is she going to let me keep thinking that? Is she okay with believing that I feel affection and respect forher sisterbased on the things Scarlett shared with me that weekend?
Things that Iknoware really about Scarlett.
All of that washer.
But she has to admit it. She has to let me in. She has to let me close.
She stares at me for several seconds.
The clock above the sink ticks at least ten times.
“That makes it even better. It means those werefantasies. Fantasies that you shared with onlyme.Fantasies that you askedmeto help make real. And fantasies are about the most personal, intimate things you can share with someone. Don’t fucking tell me that you were anybody but yourself during those moments.”
She’s staring at me, her eyes wide. She’s breathing faster and I’m guessing her heart is pounding.
Mine sure as fuck is.
“Okay,” she finally says. “You’re right. That was all me. That was me letting go. That was real. And I get why you have strong feelings about it. It was a very… fun weekend. But you’re not inlovewith me. That was lust. It was physical. Chemical. And you can’t tell me that you haven’t had amazing sex before.” She pauses. “Or since.”
Okay, now I’m pissed.
Again.
I never get pissed and I’ve been wound up since I got on the damned plane in Cara.
I don’t like being angry. Probably why I don’t do it very often.
“First of all, no, I haven’t had sex since,” I say tightly.
She frowns. “You’re telling me you haven’t had good sex since we were together?”
“I’m telling you I haven’t hadanysex since we were together. Except with my hand if you count that, which I do not.”
She opens her mouth to respond, but I lift my hand and press my finger over her lips, keeping her mouth shut.
“But here is why I’m mixed up and pissed off,” I tell her. “Ilovedfucking you. But the reason I can’t stop thinking about you is because of the program for single moms we brainstormed together. I fell in love with the woman who hadthatin her beautiful head and who got me excited and motivated todosomething amazing with it.”
Her big green eyes widen, but I don’t move my hand away from her mouth. I’m not fucking done.
“I thought we both had a sister who is an amazing single mom. I thought we were both proud of how we’d been a part of their support systems. I fell in love with the program we dreamed up for moms who don’t have family and friends like our sisters do.
“I fell in love with the way you got me excited about making a difference. With the way you gave me a purpose, a way to use my connections and money to do something important.
“I fell in love with how you mademefeel important and passionate about something I coulddo. A way to finally contribute the way my siblings do. I told you how I feel like the sidekick to my brother and sister. How I’ve always wanted to find a way to measure up to the amazing things they do. I confessed some pretty fucking vulnerable stuff. And I thought you understood all of that.”
I let my hand fall away from her face now.
“But you’re Mariah’s mom. Not her aunt. And that idea was all Ruby’s, right?” I ask. I don’t actually believe that, but I need to hear her tell me that. “Sheis the one who came up with the way to bring single moms together to support one another when they don’t have family or friends to help.”
I’m watching her face carefully, but I’m on a roll and I don’t stop. “Did you get the idea to help your stylist friend from Ruby too? You help her with her daughter’s school treats and projects and she does your hair in exchange? That seems like something Ruby would dream up.
“I suppose it’sRubywho loves elephants because of how the females create families and bonds that last all their lives.”
I take a breath. “See,that’swhy I’m annoyed. The fact that the sex wasphenomenalwas because Ilikedyou so fucking much. I felt like I really knew you. And vice versa. I’ve spentnineteen monthsmissing thatconnection. Not just your amazing body, and hot mouth, and greedy pussy, and dirty imagination. All of that too, for fucking sure, but it was especially incredible because of your brain and how you made mefeel.” I step back. “But it was all really me feeling that connection withRuby, right?”
I stand staring at Scarlett, watching her process all of that.
Is she going to keep lying to me? Is she going to let me keep thinking that? Is she okay with believing that I feel affection and respect forher sisterbased on the things Scarlett shared with me that weekend?
Things that Iknoware really about Scarlett.
All of that washer.
But she has to admit it. She has to let me in. She has to let me close.
She stares at me for several seconds.
The clock above the sink ticks at least ten times.
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