Page 58

Chase maneuvered me until I doubted every single action I took. I’d been his toy, and I let him steal so much from me. Almost left the damn city to get away from the lingering rot of his touch. A million scent wipes couldn’t take away the shame he tattooed on my skin.

That was why I straightened in my seat and said. “Whatever you suggest.”

Ajax laughed as he got to work. “You’re going to love taking Tully to dinner, aren’t you, Walden?”

Walden pursed his lips and didn’t reply. Lloyd spun in his chair and pointed at Pan.

“Remember when he tried to order for you, Pan, and you dumped his drink in his lap?”

I was so curious about the pair, especially with what I had witnessed between them. They were oil and water, not a naturalcombination but a mesmerizing one. Pan smirked and draped himself on Walden’s lap.

“Gotta keep them on their toes, right, Tully?”

I flushed under their twin stares.

Ajax sighed as he carried over a tray laden with snacks and a giant espresso martini. He chuckled as my eyes widened. Did he know my longing for coffee was being exacerbated by his scent right now?

“I know you don’t drink caffeine in the mornings, but the afternoon is fine, right?”

“I’m a terrible lightweight,” I protested, even though my mouth watered and stomach flipped.

Lloyd reached over and jammed a straw in the drink. “Challenge accepted. We can get obliterated together.”

The conversation lulled as we settled into our seats, and I shared my drink with Lloyd. Ajax had put a mix of snacks on a plate for me, mostly sweet. I floated on a pleasant buzz, leaned back, and locked my fingers over my bulging stomach.

Walden let out a bark of laughter and I felt a pang of envy to see Pan cozy on his lap. Walden curled his hand around Pan’s chin and pulled him closer to kiss him.

I didn’t have much experience with relationships. My best friend was in a pack with my ex. My parents had been tight-knit, with barely anything left for me.

There was bitterness in the spaces they had left, my parents' and Chase's. The lines of connection we had with others were prone to entanglement. But I’d rather be in knots with someone than adrift and alone like I was.

A wave of Lloyd’s calming scent washed away my morose thoughts. It cradled me like the tide. What would it be like to be part of this pack? My head clamored with a million shouldn’t and couldn’t objections. My parents’ disappointed tones andChase’s judgmental ones clashed together. But underneath it all was my voice.

Small from being ignored.

I’d been ready to leave behind everything I’d ever known, including my name. Could I handle the weight of the Hartlock legacy if I had a pack supporting me? My insides tumbled. Want expanded and shrunk as I battled the one thing I couldn’t dismiss.

“Are you okay? You got quiet.” Ajax’s eyes crinkled as he leaned over.

“Just thinking.”

“That’s dangerous.” Ajax’s gaze drifted over to Pan and Walden, and their cocoon. “You want to sit with me?”

Voices knocked around my skull. Warning, berating, urging.

Stop staring at alphas and grow up, Tully.

It wasn’t logical or responsible, which my parents would have wanted.

Brush past me with a sour face like that again and I’ll never give you my knot.

It wasn’t demure and well-behaved, like Chase preferred. He echoed in my ear and a dark trickle spread across my chest. But only for a moment. I filled my lungs with the truth. His voice wasn’t mine.

Even if it sounded the same.

When I touched myself to the sound of Lloyd, the tiny, neglected part of me got its wish. As I stared down at Ajax, I listened again. Wordlessly, I climbed over the chairs and into Ajax’s soft lap. I wanted the connection he offered and there were no gods who would make me ashamed of that. Not the Oracle, the Warrior, or the Sage. They knew, like I did at my basest self, this was what I needed.

Ajax banded his arm around my waist and gently tugged me closer to his chest. I chanced a look at Lloyd and he wore agiddy smile. Walden and Pan were looking, too, and there was no thread of discomfort in me at being watched by them. Ajax shored me up with his strength.