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“What?”

“You kissed Walden in public earlier when we were leaving The Barracks.”

My chest ached as I gave a curt nod. Pan offered a soft smile.

“I know it wasn’t a heart attack, but I thought I was going to die. You learn a lot when you realize it’s almost over. Like how pointless it is to care what other people think about your relationships.”

“We’ve changed since you left, angel,” Pan said.

Tully didn’t respond, but her expression turned thoughtful and she wandered over to the couch and curled into thearmchair. We all followed, caught in her thrall and unable to leave her after what happened earlier. I still had so many questions, but I swallowed them. Our scents mingled, and it settled me for the first time in a month.

“Do you want to talk about what happened?” I said.

Tully sighed and looked out the window to the backyard.

Lloyd sank into a seat while making a subtlestopmotion. But I couldn’t. I was a steam-roller down a hill, and the meager restraint I’d shown earlier evaporated.

“You can trust us, Tully.”

She fiddled with her sleeve and stared at me. Need rolled through me, only marred by the fact that I was the one who caused this distance.

“Chase was good at making promises, too.”

I let out a choked noise. I wasn’t anything like Chase. Tully didn’t have to worry about me hurting her. It was on the tip of my tongue to say so when I bit it instead. Iron flooded my mouth as I stared into her crystal blue eyes. She thanked Ajax as he placed two drinks in front of her: coffee and water.

“You think we’re the same?” My lungs filled with needles.

Another sigh. “Of course not. Chase took my trust and destroyed me. I crawled back from the brink and your lie was like a shove to my chest. I tumbled right back to the start and now I’m rebuilding. My mistake was jumping into something without doing the work on myself, or this will become a cycle I’m stuck in.”

“Does that mean you forgive us? Forgive me?” My short nails dug into my palms. Pan pressed his thigh against mine.

“You don’t want me to answer right now, Walden. I’m a tangle of emotions and most of them aren’t logical. You lied, and that’s a trigger for me. Even asking you for help was a stretch.”

The pack cringed in silence.

“I’m not infallible, Tully. I’ve made so many mistakes—”

“Like what?” Tully cocked her head. The coldness in her eyes became an ice snap.

“We wouldn’t be in this situation if it weren’t for me,” I said through gritted teeth.

I should shut up. Pan told me not to fuck it up, but I couldn’t stop pressing. I was a fixer, and I needed to know how to make this right. Her scent turned acrid, and I wrinkled my nose.

“Name them. Because you haven’t once owned what you did. You’ve said sorry,but,you’ve looked down your regal nose like I should trust your word, like I should just get over it. Because it’s inconvenient for you.”

“That’s not—” Sweat prickled down my back.

“I’m not done,” Tully said, and if she were capable of a bark, her tone would have immobilized me. “I was just attacked by an alpha who threatened to ruin me.” Her hand lifted to her shoulder for a moment. “I don’t owe you forgiveness because I asked you for help. If you don’t think you can make the distinction, let me know and I’ll handle this on my own.”

Lloyd let out a noise. “Tully, we never wanted to hurt you.”

I took in a shaky breath. Ajax muttered something to me, but I was too busy sinking to my knees on the soft carpet. I shuffled over to her. My chest burned for a moment as fear flashed in her eyes.

Was her trust in me so eroded, she thought I’d hurt her? Didn’t she know she was my heart?

“What’re you doing?” Tully’s voice was high-pitched.

Her scent flooded my nostrils, and I let it burst in my lungs. The bitter, rotten fig. Sour honey. It polluted me, and I had to fight for the right words.