Page 11

And late, I added to myself with a flicker of annoyance.

It was only marginally better than a blind date. Set up for us through Walden’s sisters, one of their friends of a friend of a friend. After a dozen failed dates, it felt unlikely this would fare any better.

I searched the restaurant and pinned my hands underneath my thighs. The bread roll called to me, but I wouldn’t give in to that delicious, crusty carb-loaded slice of heaven. Lloyd took a sip of his drink with a grimace. Walden flattened his lips, nodding a beat too late to be believable.

As if summoned by my morose thoughts, my brother Pan stumbled into the restaurant. The hazel of his eyes, like mine, were red-rimmed and lined with dark bags. His casual white tee clung to his lean chest. There was a smear of glitter on his cheek.

My stomach twisted with a familiar fear. Pan leaned down to kiss Walden on the lips, but he turned his cheek instead. My breath came quick. Pan and Walden were lovers, but it wasn’ta known thing. After Pan’s public meltdown a few months ago, Walden had pulled back.

He had aspirations for politics, and it was one thing to have a wild packmate, and another to have a wild lover.

Pan covered his hurt with a sneer and collapsed into his chair. He raised his eyebrow in a silent challenge. Tension choked my lungs, and I was lightheaded with hopelessness. His defiance hurt a pack that was already hemorrhaging.

“You’re late.” Walden took a sip of his water.

Pan waved his knife in the air like a conductor of mischief.

“Can’t blame me for wanting to skip this farce.” He aimed his sharp gaze in my direction. “If your standards weren’t so low, you’d agree with me.”

My chest stung at his words. My standards weren’t low, just realistic. Baylark Pack attracted interest wherever we went, but I wasn’t an alpha others gravitated to. Alphas were genetically built to be muscular and imposing. I had the height. But I’d always had extra padding. It was supposed to melt off when I presented.

But it didn’t.

I hadn’t realized it was a bad thing until my parents took me through a string of doctors and started controlling my diet. Pan didn’t look like the stereotypical alpha, either. He was lithe, thin, and powerful like a vine. I refused to stand next to him in photos anymore because someone would joke I’d stolen half his body as the bigger brother. Because families are raised in packs, siblings often had different biological parents. Pan was technically my half brother. He took after his father, who passed away when we were barely teenagers. I took after mine, who wasn’t overweight like I was, but solid muscle. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t earn his approval.

“Don’t judge,” Walden interjected. “She could be what we’ve been hoping for.”

I would have been grateful for his support, but I knew he only wanted to needle Pan.

My brother waved a laconic hand, his sneer sharpened. “A beta? Tell me you’re desperate without telling me you’re desperate.”

Heat flared in my chest, like heartburn. Lloyd stiffened, but didn’t look up from his phone. Pan reached out and massaged Lloyd’s shoulder.

“Sorry, Lloyd. That’s not what I meant.”

“Pan, enough,” I begged, and he clenched his sharp jaw. “Let’s just keep an open mind?” I tossed my napkin on the table. A sour taste stole my appetite.

I wanted what was best for this pack. Couldn’t he understand how badly we were failing? This pack devoured itself. A snake eating its own tail.

We shouldn’t be dating, not when the pack was in such discord. But I’d do anything to keep it from falling apart. Our dynamic needed someone else to help us before we tore each other apart.

My stomach growled, and I pressed my fist into the soft expanse.

Discipline, Ajax Mythos, you are stronger than your appetite.

“I’m sorry, you’re right and I’m sorry for being late,” he muttered to his plate. “I’m being a prick again, aren’t I?”

Lloyd punched Pan in his thigh with a grunt, and the frustration dissipated, for now. The knot in my chest loosened as Fenella weaved through the tables. She wore a black jacket over a slinky, gray dress. Her eyeliner made her narrowed gaze look like a panther.

Finally.Better late than never.

Her cheeks had a touch of pink and as she passed me, a wave of fresh fig and dripping sweet honey hit me. I caught my tonguebetween my teeth, stifling an embarrassed groan at the last moment.

I stood up and pulled out her chair, careful to give her space. Transferring my scent would have been rude. Fenella’s cheeks stretched as she glued on a bright smile. Her eyes remained flat and cold though, the surrounding lines were tight with tension.

“I’m so sorry I’m late. I couldn’t get a ride to save my life.”

No cars coming to the beating heart of Starhaven on a Saturday night? It was so unlikely that it soured my stomach further.