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Astaly, an ocean away and yet it could have been another world.

Didn’t Tully know what life was like for omegas over there? They were like precious commodities, controlled and sold to the highest bidder because of their rarity.

“You can’t leave,” Lloyd burst out, his knuckles turned white over her hand.

She shifted, her eyes darting away from the intense stares everyone sent her.

“Why don’t we eat some breakfast? Have a breather.” Ajax eased himself up, his muscles tight with tension.

“Food isn’t a solution for every problem, Ajax.” My sharp tongue flew before I realized what I was saying, and I grimaced as Ajax hunched his shoulders.

Why was I always a colossal prick?

I knew I’d scored him unnecessarily when he rubbed his stomach. Our parents really messed up how he viewed himself, and my careless words confirmed it.

“Ajax, I didn’t mean—” I sighed when Walden snorted, his arms crossing over his broad chest.

The prickle on the back of my neck intensified, and I scratched at it with my nails.

Ajax ignored me and prepared some food.

“To be honest, Ajax’s cooking has solved a few of my problems since I got here,” Tully said, and when Ajax looked up, she gave him a tentative smile. “I’ve been living off junk for months.”

Guilt and self-loathing curdled in my stomach.

Every word Tully spoke was a balm. Just like every word I spat left a bruise. The longing for oblivion intensified. Could I take this tiny omega, fit her between my ribs somehow? She was everything I wanted to be, and yet I was an alpha.

“Can’t you contain yourself for one conversation?” Walden hissed.

I hated that tone on him. It reminded me of my father. There I went again, failing everyone.

You hit every note, but where was the passion? Do you even care about winning?

I curled my useless hands in my lap.

“Should I see myself out? Now you’ve got the omega you always wanted.” My sneer didn’t wobble like my insides.

I didn’t know how to tell Walden how desperately I wanted to crawl into his lap, how I, an alpha, wanted to be coddled. Sweat made my shirt cling to my back. I wasn’t supposed to crave the submission. But I’d been this way since I could remember. A healthy obsession with omegas, both my dads were pleased. But I wanted tobethe omega. I fingered the collar around my neck. The conduit for the submission I needed.

Tully looked between us with curiosity, and relief that the focus wasn’t on her anymore.

“I have a name, you know. Although I’d rather not get in the middle of whatever this is.” She waved her hands at us.

The scent of her had stayed lodged in my nostrils since she had intruded into my piano room. I’d been driven to the keys for the first time in months with her trembling lips in mind. I’d played until my right hand failed, as it always did. But the music had been a revelation even when I hit all the wrong, passionate notes.

Like Walden and me.

My thoughts crowded with visions of Tully and me on our knees for Walden. How pretty we’d look, begging for him.

“We’re a delicious mess, aren’t we, daddy?” I tapped my chipped, black nails on a bouncing knee.

“Whose fault is that?” Walden sighed, unable to help himself.

I couldn’t stop the teasing, button pushing bullshit. The sneers prickled under his skin, poisoned the love he felt for me. It unfolded in real time, the dwindling patience, frustration, and despair. And yet, I continued. It spewed out of me like a fixation.

This disease rotted my insides, and I still wanted to push him away so I could justify using again. All day long, the effort to stay clean exhausted me. My nerves were tangled webs that ached with empty hunger. There was no softness left in me for anyone.

“Ah yes, I’m the worst kind of alpha, a disgrace. The one tarnished link in an otherwise pristine pack. Threw away my piano career to snort SubduX.”