Page 98 of Nitro

“Well, the shrink didn’t need to know details, just that Matrix went through some shit. I also told him about the extreme neglect he suffered as a baby.”

“I guess you had to.”

“If I didn’t think he needed to know, I wouldn’t have said anything. You realize that, right?”

“Of course. I’m not questioning your judgment at all. I’m just fucking pissed.”

“Me too, man.” Scar grabs my shoulder and gives it a rough squeeze. “We’re all upset, but we need to pull our shit together and rally around him.”

“We will. I will. Can I go in now?”

“Sure. Just keep things light. He’s not really that responsive, so don’t expect much.”

“Is he catatonic?”

“Not quite. I’m pretty sure he could hear me, but he wasn’t responding to anything I said. Still, I talked to him for a bit. Told him about how the girls went shopping for Holly’s baby stuff. I didn’t bring up the cutting or anything else. I suggest you avoid that subject, at least until he feels like talking.”

“Got it.”

“Julia, Nina, and Daisy will be here soon. They dropped Holly off at the clubhouse. Reaper and Tucker are there with her.”

“I’m glad she didn’t come. This is no place for a pregnant woman unless there’s something wrong with the baby. I don’t want her catching something. She can wait to see him. Did they say when he might be coming home?” I ask.

“Not yet. He’s stable physically, but mentally, that’s another story.”

“Maybe seeing Daisy will snap him out of it.”

“Or push him further down. I don’t know what’s going on with those two, but having her here could trigger him to retreat even deeper into his mind.”

“True.” I nod.

“Let me know how things go. I’m going out to the parking lot to meet the girls.”

“Will do, pres.”

As he leaves, I open the door to Matrix’s room. It’s dark inside. The curtains are drawn, and the only illumination comesfrom the monitors around the bed. An IV bag hangs over one side of the bed. The line ends in his arm.

I sit in the only chair in the room, next to his bed. Leaning over, I put my head in my hands. The pain of everything that happened with Blackstone hasn’t hit me like this in months. Ever since Holly came into my life, that ever-present cloud of hatred hasn’t rained down over my heart. But now it’s back. Murderous rage simmers beneath the surface, lightning to the storm brewing inside me. I told Holly I could move past what Blackstone did, but was that the truth? Or was I just lying to myself?

“Is he gone?” Matrix asks in a raspy voice.

“Who, Scar?”

“No. That motherfucking head shrink.”

“He left a while ago. At least that’s what Scar said.”

“Good.”

“How are you doing?” I ask.

“Just peachy.”

“Liar.”

“What? You’re not going to coddle me like Scar?”

“You’re too hard-headed for that. It won’t work. You need to get your ass kicked for this shit.”