Page 48 of Nitro

“Maybe later.” I give him a soft smile.

“Okay. That’s good enough for me. For now.”

“Can I tell you something?” I ask.

“Of course.”

“I honestly thought you’d be into way freakier stuff after all the buildup. You kept telling me that I’d be turned off by your kinky side. All you did was handcuff and gag me.”

“Some women would run from a man who did that to them.”

“I liked it.” I blush.

“Really?” His charming grin is back.

“I got to be super lazy. I didn’t even have to lift a finger. I couldn’t.”

“And you enjoyed that?”

“Hell yeah! I didn’t have to do any work. All I had to do was lay back and let you pleasure the heck out of me. Of course, I do like being on top too, so I wouldn’t want to be tied up every time, but sometimes…” I trace a trail down his chest with my fingertips.

“Do you know why I like it?” he asks.

“Tell me.”

“I get to be in complete control. I never had that … before.”

I know exactly what he’s referring to. I can’t imagine what it felt like to be so little and helpless. His need to dominate me makes a lot of sense.

“If you want to take over in bed, I’m happy to let you. Jeff always made me do all the work in every aspect of our lives. I became his servant in and out of bed. I’m not even sure how it happened. It wasn’t like that at first. But he slowly chipped away at me with little comments until I was doing exactly what he wanted every minute of the day.”

“What kind of comments?”

“It started with small things, like I’d want to go out with friends. I asked if he wanted to come along, but he’d say ‘no, but I’m sure you’ll have fun anyway’.”

“That seems passive-aggressive.”

“Right?” I laugh, but there’s little humor in my tone. “And then when I’d get home, he’d grill me. Who was there? What did you do? Where did you go? And he’d say he missed me so much while I was gone. I thought he was telling me that because heactually cared about me. No, what hemissedwas being able to control me.”

“What a piece of shit.”

“He slowly tore apart my relationships with other people. I saw my friends less and less. Eventually, they stopped inviting me out. They didn’t call me anymore. I’m not blaming them at all, but I wish someone had stepped in and pointed out how unhealthy this was. A new relationship shouldn’t affect a person’s friendships. Anyone who tries to isolate you like that isn’t a good person.”

“I can see how the subtlety would make it hard to recognize what’s going on while it’s happening.”

“Exactly. I didn’t even realize I’d lost all my friends until years into the relationship. He didn’t get rid of them until after we were married. Then he started in on my family.”

“Your parents didn’t notice anything wrong?”

“Nope. They couldn’t see past the fact that I’d married a doctor. As far as they were concerned, I’d reached the pinnacle of achievement as a woman. The only thing left on their agenda was for me to pop out a few grandkids. Thank God I never got pregnant.”

“It’s much harder to get away when you’ve got kids together, but it’s not impossible. More planning goes into it, but we’ve rescued a lot of women with children.”

“Isn’t that dangerous, though?” I ask.

“Leaving an abuser is always risky. But staying could be even worse. Statistically, the biggest number of domestic violence-related deaths happen when the partner being abused tries to escape. Because of that, we take extra precautions when we’re helping people.”

“Like what?” I’m so curious about his world and how it operates. I want to know everything.