Page 71 of Nitro

“Did you ever think of raising Max yourself?” I ask Julia.

“I did, but he needed a fresh start away from this place. Although his father was dead, there were so many bad memories here. Starting over was the right thing to do.”

“Sometimes it’s the only way forward,” Nina says sagely.

I nod but don’t respond.

“After you get divorced, are you planning on staying?” Julia asks.

Nina’s gaze shifts from the road to the rearview mirror. She studies me for a second before turning her attention back to the highway.

“I think so. Maybe. It depends.”

“On what?” Nina asks.

“On Nitro, of course,” Julia says.

“A little,” I say softly.

“He’s head over heels in love with you. It’s obvious,” Nina says.

“I hope so.”

“He hasn’t told you he loves you yet?” Julia asks.

“Nope.”

“Have you told him you love him?” Nina asks.

“Nope.”

“Communication is key. Men don’t pick up on subtlety. You have to slap them across the face with your tits before they realize that you love them.” Nina grins.

“That might have worked on Winchester, but I think Holly needs to talk to Nitro instead of smothering him with her boobs.” Julia rolls her eyes.

“Well, she’s good at slapping the shit out of people, so if words don’t work, try tits.”

“You’re so helpful,” Julia says.

“I am, aren’t I?”

After we’re done laughing, I pause to reflect on what Nina said. I don’t think hitting Nitro with my boobs is the right way to approach him. I mean, I’ve already done that more than once. He loves to motorboat them, but that’s not the best way to deal with this situation. I should talk to him. It’s terrifying to put myself out there like that, but I’ve got to do it. I’m pretty sure he loves me, but what if he doesn’t? Then what?

I spend the rest of the day trying to work out exactly what to say to him. There are so many possibilities, but none of themfeel right. Since I can’t decide, I’m not going to worry about it right now. Eventually, we’ll talk about where our relationship is going. It seems premature to discuss it until I’m divorced anyway. Until that’s finalized, I shouldn’t even be considering a new relationship. However, that ship sailed months ago. Nitro and I are definitely together, but how long will it last? And what does he really want? It might not be me, which is why I’m afraid to have this conversation with him. I can’t do it until I get past my fear of rejection, but I don’t know how long that will take. Maybe I’ll never get over it.

Chapter 20: Nitro

The women left to go to the farmer’s market an hour ago. Since they’re gone, the guys are gathered around the TV in the living room watching the game. It’s college football since it’s Saturday, but whatever. It’s still entertaining. If nothing else, it gives us a chance to hang out together. We’ve been so busy we haven’t had time to throw together a proper barbecue. For now, this will have to do.

“Hey, pass me the guac.” Reaper motions toward the huge bowl of guacamole the ladies left for us.

“Only if you promise to give it back. Last time we handed it over, it came back almost empty.” I grudgingly shove it across the coffee table.

“It’s not my fault they didn’t make enough,” Reaper grumbles.

“They used fifteen avocados.”

“What did you do, stand there and count them?”