Page 101 of Nitro

“Yeah.”

“One day, I was up there looking for a pitchfork to move some hay into the horses’ stalls. I didn’t find it up there. Instead, I found some rope.”

Matrix leans forward slightly.

“Blackstone taught me how to tie a noose.” I shudder as a flashback steals my breath.

“You too?”

“Yep.”

“He told me I was free to kill myself at any time. All I had to do was tell him I wanted out.”

“Fuck.”

“I didn’t know he did that to all of us.”

“He did,” I confirm.

“Sometimes I wish I’d taken the easy way out.”

“But you didn’t. So why now?” I ask.

“I don’t know. I just feel so hopeless.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Thanks.” His lips press into a thin line.

“That cute little club girl follows you around all day and you’re still thinking about ending shit? Are you insane?”

“Maybe.” He cracks a small smile.

“Listen, I don’t want to have to bury you. But if I do, then I need to at least know that you banged that little minx up against the wall. At least once.”

“I haven’t touched her.”

“God, you’re a fool. Okay, here’s the deal. You need to get your shit together. Get the fuck out of this place, go home, bang Daisy, and then if you still want to off yourself, well, I can’t help you. No one can. Because you’re a moron.”

“Asshole.”

“There’s the spirit.” I smirk. “She’ll be here soon. Want me to grab a nurse to give you a quick sponge bath? You stink. You probably shit yourself too. Did you know that happens when you do stupid bullshit like this? Do you really want one of us to clean up your shit because you couldn’t find a way back to the land of the living?”

“There’s blood all over the office.”

“Tucker’s cleaning it up. You owe him something good. Find him a new club girl. Some good pussy should be enough of a reward.” I grin because I can tell Matrix is slowly climbing up out of the pit of despair.

“Find out if he wants a blonde or a brunette.”

“Redhead.” I nod sagely. “Get him a fiery gingersnap. He’d love that shit.”

“Probably.” He laughs but quickly grimaces. “I think they bruised my ribs doing CPR.”

“Good. You deserve a few broken bones for this shit. Consider it penance.”

“Fuck you.” He smirks.

“Fuck you too, bro.” I go to hug him then reconsider. “Let me get that nurse before you start growing mushrooms out of your ass.”