Page 28 of Nitro

I groan as I take a seat beside him. The painkillers are good, but they’re not strong enough to get rid of the ache comingfrom my ribs. I’m going to regret this later, but I’m still glad he brought me to his special place. I’m seeing a softer side of him, and I like it. He’s not always wild and crazy. There’s more going on within him. I want to get to know this secret side, the part of him he doesn’t share with other people.

“Tell me about you,” I say.

“What about me?” He kicks his foot through the water, sending ripples across the lake.

“How did you end up with Underground Vengeance?”

“Nina took us in. Her old man ran the club back then.”

“What do you mean ‘took you in’?”

“It’s a long story.”

“We’ve got all afternoon,” I say in a teasing tone.

“I suppose.” He looks off into the distance. “The guys and I were homeless when Nina found us in her barn.”

“How long ago was this?”

“Sixteen years.”

“You had to be…”

“Thirteen when we escaped.”

“Escaped?”

“Forget I said that.” In an instant, his faraway look becomes haunted. I know that look. It’s the one I’d get after one of Jeff’s particularly rough screaming meltdowns. I’d go somewhere deep inside my heart to hide from all the pain. Nitro’s there right now, and I want to know why.

“You can tell me anything. I’m good at keeping secrets.”

“Me too.” He glances my way before returning his gaze to the lake. We sit in silence for several minutes before he speaks again. “It’s not good, kitten.”

“What’s not?”

“My past.”

“Neither is mine.”

“Yeah, but this, what happened to me, it’s way worse than most people’s, even yours. Not that I’m comparing our situations. There’s no way to rank one person’s pain over another’s. It’s a pointless thing to do anyway. Shit, I’m rambling now.”

“It’s okay. I know what you mean. Sometimes I feel like I’m whining too much about what Jeff did to me. After all, he didn’t hit me that many times.”

“Once is too much.”

“I know. But what I mean is that there are people who have been through far worse than what I’ve suffered. Those people deserve to wallow in their pain. I don’t.”

“Why not?” he challenges.

“Jeff was verbally abusive. I get that. And I know it’s not right. But it’s not like he was beating me every night. Some women have it so much worse than me. You should be helping one of them, not me. I mean, I’m grateful for everything you’re doing. Don’t get me wrong. But do I really need your help more than some other woman?”

“Yes, you do.” He pulls his legs up and crosses them while turning to face me. “Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. You can’t measure suffering. Anyone who has ever been tormented by someone who claimed to love them deserves to be helped. You deserve it. Don’t let me hear you say otherwise.”

I drop my chin toward my chest and lower my eyes. He’s right. It just feels so selfish to be the recipient of his help when there are so many other women who need assistance.

“Look at me.” He gently cups my jaw and tilts my head up until I meet his gaze. “I care about you a lot. I’ve known you for years, and even though we weren’t close, I worried about you. If I’d known how bad things were, I would have stopped him.”

“I’m good at hiding stuff.”