Page 126

“But, sometimes when people break up, one person moves on more quickly than the other, and in our case, I was… well, let’s just say I was so happy, I wasn’t as aware as I should’ve been of how my happiness might hurt Maya. And, look, that part’s on me. But, all I knew was, one second I’m happily telling everyone about this wonderful new girl I’d met, and the next, I have people from back home accusing me of cheating on Maya. Which was obviously ridiculous. I don’t want to speculate on how that rumor got spread, of course. Breakups can be full of hurt feelings, and he-said, she-said, and twisted words. But, regardless… yeah, it was a hard time in my life. I would’ve thought the people who knew me wouldneverbelieve I wouldevercheat on somebody. It was pretty hurtful.”

This can’t be happening.

Thiscannotbe happening.

“Anyway, that’s all in the past—and I was pretty convinced that it must have been a misunderstanding, you know? But then, we had some drama early on in filming, and, truthfully, it made me question if those rumors were a misunderstanding, or something more targeted than that. That was a horrible moment for me in this experience, because I was left questioning if I’d potentially made a huge mistake with one of the girls I’d invited onto the show.”

On the screen behind us—the screen that showed a bunch of the biggest moments from the show earlier—the screen Isaac’s supposed to be displaying his Jordy montage on soon—my face appears.

I’m drunk, and it’s the first night. “He doesn’t care about you, any more than he cares about me,” I’m shouting, while the other girls give each other awkward, pitying glances. “He cares about himself!”

It looks like I’m trying to turn them against Jordy. Which Iwas,but with the context missing, even I hate myself.

Then there’s a shot of the group of us on the first night. “Could you send Perrie over here?” Jordy asks me, sounding all pleasant and reasonable and gentle.

I look like I’m about to explode. “Sure, Jordy. You could probably have gone to ask her yourself, but I guess you’re used to being waited on these days, huh?”

There’s the clip of me having a dig at Skye on the first night. The clip of me being rude to Jordy on our walk the next day. And finally, back to the first night, when Jordy pulls me aside.

“They said… well, they said you haven’t had the nicest things to say about me, honestly.” The camera jumps, and it cuts to Jordy again: “I was wondering if you’re feeling jealous?” It cuts again, to Jordy frowning. “No, don’t get upset.”

Another cut. “I don’t want this jealousy to come between us like it did last time.”

It’s finally past-me’s turn to talk. “My overwhelming, irrational jealousy?”

“Yes.”

“Uh-huh.”

Oh my god. It looks like he’s just trying to talk some sense into me, and that I’magreeingwith him.

My head feels like it’s about to explode. Like, to the point where if spontaneous combustion is a real thing, this might be a good time to worry for my own flammability.

The screen goes black. The crowd murmurs in confusion.

Grayson looks grave. “Not the best possible start to a new relationship. But, obviously, something changed. What do you think that was?”

Jordy looks deep in thought. “Well, Grayson, I think something in my gut told me that Maya isn’t a cruel person. She’s never been. Maya’s just… a woman who needs some extra security. After we had that talk, I think I realized that. Once Istarted going above and beyond to make sure Maya never went down that jealousy spiral—you know, checking in on her, giving her some extra attention when she looked like she needed it, reassuring her—I really saw her blossom into the girl I fell in love with the first time around. That’s when I realized the problem was me—I hadn’t been making sure, at every possible moment, that Maya was getting what she needed from me. Once I changed my own behavior, well… here we are.”

Jordy Miller. Is a fucking genius.

I’m in awe. One speech, and he’s managed to frame me as emotionally abusive, forcing him to cater to my demands all day every day so I don’t snap and make his life hell. Everyone in the audience must be thinking the same thing right now.

Poor Jordy. He doesn’t know what she’s doing to him. He’s so sweet, he doesn’t even realize how messed up that sounded.

But he realizes. Oh, he fucking realizes.

He knew damn well I’m not actually into him. All week. He just didn’t care, because he didn’t need me to be.

He just needed to use me to make things abouthim,on a national level. He basically told me that himself. I just didn’t listen.

Grayson faces me now. “And Maya, what was your experience on the show?”

It’s my cue. The one Isaac and I discussed. And perfectly timed for a rebuttal, too. Was Isaac in on this? How long has he known about Jordy’s montage of me?

Did hemakeJordy’s montage of me?

Will my rebuttal be enough? It’s enough to discredit him. It proves he cheated on me, and he knows it. Yes, I think it will. Sure, like Perrie said, there will be people who take his side, but…