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‘Now I see why it’s complicated.’

My eyes dart around the bar, ensuring the coast is clear. ‘Mmhmm.’

‘It’s not any of my business,’ he says with the tone of someone who absolutely thinks it’s his business, ‘but I’m curious as to why Eva is on Instagram talking about your upcoming wedding, and you’re here with another woman.’ He pauses. ‘One who is obviously completely in love with you, and’ – he lifts a brow – ‘you look totally besotted yourself.’

I glance towards the bathroom, checking for Holly. ‘I’m going home tomorrow and I’m ending it with Eva. Which I had planned to do days ago, but then I ran into Holly. We know each other from years ago and well, I kind of got side-tracked.’

‘Holly doesn’t know about Eva?’

I shake my head and a guilty, shameful heat crawls over my face. ‘I will tell her, but not tonight. I don’t want to ruin tonight. I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t mention it.’

‘Of course I won’t; it’s not my place. But don’t you follow each other on socials?’

I shrug. ‘We’ve been together since Friday night when we ran into each other, so we haven’t needed anything but phone numbers. Look, I haven’t handled this the best way, and now I wish I’d said something sooner, but seeing Holly again was so unexpected. I’ve thought about her for years, and, well, it’s a long story. I’m not avoiding it; I just need to tell her my way – get the timing right.’

He sips the last of his beer and considers me for a long moment. ‘I think you’re going to have some fireworks when you get home, and if you like Holly as much as it looks like you do, then…’ He grimaces.

‘Yeah. Cheers for that reminder.’ I spot Holly coming out from the toilets. She stops at the bar to help Matias. ‘I’ll sort it. Anyway, you got any spliffs? Couldn’t exactly bring some in my luggage.’

He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a cigarette packet, sliding it across the table. ‘Take two.’

‘Ta.’ I hand over some euros and tuck two joints into my coat pocket.

When Holly sits, she takes a sip of wine, and a new song begins. ‘Oh, I love this track.’ She slides her hand over my thigh. ‘Dance with me.’

The bar isn’t overly crowded, being a Tuesday night, and there isn’t a dancefloor, but I take her hand and lead her to the small area in the middle of the tables. I pull her close, wrapping my arms around her hips. She lays her head on my shoulder and slides her hands under my shirt, resting them in the small of my back. I’ve already become attached to her touch; I don’t want to spend any longer than I have to without it.

‘I feel lost without you already,’ she says.

I dip my head to kiss the bare skin on her shoulder. ‘I don’t want to leave you. I really don’t.’

She replies with a lingering kiss; her tongue finds mine and everything inside me weakens. She pulls away and brushes her lips against my ear. ‘I don’t care that I only just found you again, I can’t ever lose you.’ Her voice is so soft that I barely catch it, but then my brain registers her words and my heart crushes.

‘Holly. I?—’

But she kisses me again and says, ‘Let’s go.’

Chapter 25

Holly, Berlin

Acouple of hours later, we’re naked, covered with a doona and lying on the small two-seater sofa that I dragged onto the balcony earlier today. It’s a cool evening and the breeze five stories up is fresh, nipping at my exposed skin.

Casey is half sitting up, leaning back against cushions that pad the slanted arm rest, legs stretched the length of the sofa, with me resting between them, facing her. Her chest rises as she inhales, then she passes the joint to me as smoke seeps lazily from her lips into the night air.

I inhale until my lungs burn and cough a little as I exhale.

She smiles and takes the joint back. ‘Not a big weed smoker anymore, then?’

‘Not for a while, no.’ I rest my head against her chest. ‘These past few days have been amazing.’

‘They have,’ she says, gazing down at me, her eyes gleaming in the moonlight.

‘You have no idea how much I needed this weekend,’ I say. ‘I felt suffocated at home, not just because of what was going on when I left, but because of all the years leading up to it. All the stress of it.’ I pause as I contemplate whether to tell her about Lily, but the thought of going through it all exhausts me, so I forget it for now. ‘I had this urge to get away and get some control of my life back, if that makes sense.’

‘Makes total sense. I felt like that too. Just didn’t realise it until I got here.’ She brushes her thumb across my cheekbone. ‘We should give this a proper go. See where it goes.’

‘You mean us?’ I take the joint from her.