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I sniff. ‘She’s not back with Eva?’

‘No, mate. And I promise you, she was about to end it with Eva when she met you. She wasn’t happy; it just took her a while to get there, yeah?’

‘She hasn’t…’ I swallow, not certain I’m ready to hear the answer to my question. ‘Slept with anyone else?’

Jaz gapes at me, outraged. ‘What? No, babe. Course she hasn’t.’

My heart lifts and then crashes when I remember I’ve just kissed someone.

‘Can you maybe call her or something?’ Jaz asks. ‘She’s just messaged me. She was moping about the Tate and her family found her and took her out for lunch.’

The Tate. Sappho and Erinna is there. Hope blooms that maybe it’s not too late. ‘I don’t want to interrupt them.’

‘You won’t. Believe me, they all want you to call her right now.’

‘If you’re sure?’

Her face splits into a broad grin. ‘Brilliant.’

I wipe my face again and notice hordes of people behind her. ‘Sorry, I called you in the middle of something.’

‘You’re all right. I’m on Oxford Street looking for an outfit. Got a hot date tonight.’ She winks.

‘Lucky her,’ I say.

‘Lucky me, I think. Now, stop stalling, Holly girl, and call Casey.’

I inhale and release it in a shuddery breath. ‘Okay. Bye.’

‘Later, lovely.’

I hang up, open FaceTime and hit Casey’s number before I can talk myself out of it. Within two rings, her face fills the screen and my tears start again.

‘Holly? Oh my God. Hiya.’

‘Hi,’ I sniff.

‘Where are you? It’s dark and you’re crying.’ Her eyes widen. ‘Are you in danger?’

I shake my head. ‘No. I’m fine. I miss you.’

Her shoulders drop. ‘I miss you too.’

Chapter 40

Casey, London

Ipower down my work laptop and check my phone with a frown. Since Holly called me on Saturday, we’ve spoken in some form every day – thirteen days of solid contact – so I’m fretting about not hearing from her for well over twenty-four hours. We’ve mostly talked about her loss and how the grief therapist has been a good outlet for her. She and Adam are in a better place and while they’ve always been close, sorting through their parents’ belongings and preparing their house for sale has helped them form a stronger bond. She’s nurturing the relationship with her relatives in London, and she told me more about her time with Tom and Lily.

I was happy to keep quiet and listen, but yesterday morning she said, ‘We’ve spent most of our time talking about me. I’m ready for you to tell me everything about Eva.’

My eyes widened in surprise.

She chuckled. ‘Sorry, but I needed to build up to it. If you don’t want?—’

‘No. I’m glad you want to talk about it. I think it’s important.’ I started at the beginning – how we met, sleeping with other people when we briefly split, the cracks in the relationship when we moved in together, the proposal, the wedding plans, how I got swept away with it all until one day my instincts told me something wasn’t right, but that I owed it to Eva to try. I told Holly about the weeks leading up to me going to Berlin and how I thought about her then more than I ever had. She was quiet as I spoke, her face impassive.

When I finally finished, she said, ‘You must have really loved her.’