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‘So…’ he says, his eyebrows rising above the frame of his glasses. ‘She did something human and that’s it? Someone who looks at you like that? Someone you searched the world for and who searched for you?’

‘I didn’t know she had a fiancée,’ I argue. ‘I thought?—’

‘What?’ he says abruptly. ‘That she was perfect? You’re always going to be disappointed if you’re looking for perfection, Holly.’

My face warms. ‘Okay. Thanks for your insights, I guess.’

‘I don’t mean to be harsh?—’

‘Ha, you and Adam with the “I don’t mean to be harsh” talk.’

He smiles. ‘I don’t want you to be unhappy. If we can’t be together, then I’d like to think it’s because you’re with the one.’ He raises his wine glass. ‘Friends?’

I pick up mine and clink, but the sting of his words lingers, because the truth cuts deep.

Chapter 38

Casey, London

‘So, you’re just going to run away again?’ Mum says, plonking a mug of tea in front of me.

‘I’m not fucking running away.’

Dad swats my arm with a tea towel. ‘Don’t swear at your mother.’

I glare between them. ‘I’m not running away. I’m getting on with my life, there’s a difference.’

Chandice saunters into the kitchen, a towel wrapped around her head. ‘You’re moving to Berlin so you don’t have to look at the pub every time you arrive and leave work. Sounds like running away to me.’

‘Fuck off,’ I say.

‘Oooh, I’ve a touched a nerve.’ Chandice pulls the towel off her head and hangs it over the back of the dining chair.

‘Leave it out, Chandice,’ Dad says.

‘Excuse me for being triggered every time I go to work over something that was quite traumatic!’ I say.

‘Traumatic?’ Mum says, her eyes bulging. ‘You had two birds on the go. They’re the ones who’ll be traumatised.’

‘I didn’t have two birds on the go!’ I protest.

Dad pats my hand. ‘You kind of did, love.’

I shoot him a look. ‘Well I didn’t fucking mean it, did I?’

He shakes his head and takes his empty mug to the sink.

‘Like you won’t be triggered in Berlin,’ Chandice says. ‘You spent more time with Holly there than here.’

‘Yeah, but here is where it all went wrong, innit? At least there I have some nice memories. And it’s an opportunity to head a gallery on my own. I’d be stupid not to take it.’

‘In normal circumstances, yes,’ Mum says. ‘But you love your job and life here and?—’

‘No – I loved my life here. Past tense. Anyway, I’ll get to spend time with Aunty Linda and Uncle Dave. It’s not like I won’t have family around me.’

Mum jabs a finger at me. ‘They don’t want you moping about.’

‘I’m not going to be moping about.’ I stand and Mum pushes me back down.