Page 40

I frowned. ‘I don’t want to be out picking up. I want to be with someone I love and who loves me.’

‘And that’s not Eva?’

‘I don’t think it is,’ I said sadly. ‘When did you become such an expert at relationships anyway?’

‘Doing lots of research for my steamy romances.’ Chandice rolled over and switched off the lamp. ‘Night, big sis. Just think about what I said, yeah?’

I’m still turning over the conversation with Chandice when Eva walks into the lounge room and sits on the end of the sofa.

‘Talking to me now?’ I ask.

‘Mmm,’ she says. ‘I’m angry at you for leaving like that yesterday.’

‘I’m sorry. I know it was sudden. But it was freaking me out, Eva. It’s just a lot sometimes.’

‘But it’s a wedding, and I want a nice one. I only plan on getting married once.’ She runs her hand up my shin.

I jerk my leg away. ‘It’s all a bit stressful. Maybe, we could, like, you know, postpone the wedding for a bit?’

Her eyes instantly water. ‘Oh, God. You’re not serious?’ Her chest heaves up and down.

‘Um … maybe … yes?’

She jumps up and begins pacing. ‘You’re finishing with me? Why?’ She buries her head in her hands, her shoulders jerking.

‘Eva, please don’t cry.’

‘But … everything,’ she says though a sob, ‘is … planned. My dress … the guest list … the chef!’

‘It’s just … I’m not sure about this,’ I try again.

She drops her hands and glowers at me, her cheeks stained with mascara. ‘You’re seriously cancelling the wedding? After all the effort I’ve put into it? After what my parents have spent? After I’ve promised my followers the best lesbian wedding they’ve ever fucking seen?’

‘Erm…’ I swallow.

She stamps her foot, actually stamps her foot. ‘No, Casey. You will not fucking treat me like this. We’re not postponing. Either marry me or don’t marry me. But do not fuck me around.’

I put my hands up. ‘Okay. I’m sorry. Work is stressful and I’m a bit overwhelmed, is all.’

She rushes back to the sofa and grabs my hand. ‘I know you get overwhelmed sometimes. That’s why I’m doing as much as I can. And wedding nerves are normal. But we love each other, don’t we? Once it’s over, we can go back to being us again, but married.’ She leans forward to kiss me.

I give her a quick peck, but when she clutches my face and tries to deepen the kiss, I pull away. ‘I’m not in the mood right now. I might go for a bath.’ I stand. ‘You know what Mum’s like with the hot water – I was in and out there.’

Her mouth drops open and I race to the bathroom.

I turn on the taps, squeeze in some bath gel and sit on the toilet while the tub fills. That was a fucking car crash. It’d be just like Eva to burst in here any minute, so I jump up and snib the lock. That’ll give me space for a bit. Space. That helped me last night. I dig my phone out of my pocket and check my flight to Berlin – Wednesday morning. That’s still three days away. Eva will try to bring me round with sex before then, and she’ll succeed, which will mess with my head even more. I tap the ‘change flight’ link and rebook to leave in the morning.

Chapter 12

Holly, Melbourne

Jack shouting from the other end of the house wakes me with a start. I sit up, glancing at the clock on my bedside table, ready to get up for work. Then I remember I don’t have a job and I booked a flight to Berlin last night, leaving tomorrow. The thought fills me with equal measures of excitement and dread. I can’t believe I actually had the courage to do it. But I couldn’t find the same courage to tell Tom. After he fell asleep, I spooned him and breathed in his freshly washed skin one last time, rehearsing my break-up speech and imagining his response over and over in my mind.

I swing my legs out of bed, waiting a few seconds to see if the nerves in my gut settle. They don’t, so I take a deep breath and head to the kitchen to make lunches for Tom and Jack. Just as I’m finishing, Tom appears, clean-shaven and dressed for work. I catch the spice of his cologne. It’s nice, and my heart squeezes.

‘Morning,’ he says. ‘Ooh, sandwich today. That looks good.’

I place an apple and his sandwich in a lunch bag and push it across the bench towards him. ‘Chicken, avocado and salad on that grain bread you like.’