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A woman is standing exactly where I was yesterday, her back to me. I squint as I assess her. She has long, wavy, honey-coloured hair. She also has a familiar soft sway of her hip as she takes a few steps forward, and a body shape that looks a lot like the one I mapped with my hands and mouth every moment I could. My gaze lands on a camera cradled in her hand – her camera. She points it towards the Berliner Fernsehturm and clicks the shutter.

Move, Casey. One foot in front of the other. But my body won’t comply with my brain. Instead, my trembling hands fumble with my phone and I call Jaz.

‘Oh, heeyyy,’ she answers.

‘I think she’s here, Jazzy.’ My voice is just above a whisper. ‘I fucking found her.’

A scream bursts into my eardrum and I hear Chandice in the background say, ‘What you screaming at? Is that Casey?’

‘Yeah,’ Jaz says. ‘She’s found Holly.’

‘No fucking way!’ Chandice shrieks.

‘Well, I can’t be certain, but whoever she is really, really looks like her, and moves like her.’

‘Hang on, you said, “she’s here”. Here where? Are you in the park?’ Jaz says.

‘Yeah. She posted a photo of the gallery where we first met like, half an hour ago, so I raced over here.’

‘Ow, Chandice,’ Jaz yells. ‘Get the fuck off me.’

‘I’m trying to listen!’ Chandice retorts.

‘Are you sure it was a real-time photo?’ Jaz says. ‘Not like a photo from years ago she’s just posted today?’

‘Oh.’ My heart sinks. ‘I hadn’t thought of that.’ I try to recall the caption – nothing more than the name of the gallery. ‘I guess it could be an old photo. I’m on my phone, so I can’t check.’ I groan. ‘Now I feel like a right twat. But I’m staring at someone who looks just like her.’

‘How much does it actually look like her?’ Chandice interjects. ‘You’ve been staring at her photos on Instagram enough, you should be able to tell.’

‘A lot, I s’pose. I can’t see her face that clearly from here. But she has a camera, and I remember the way she carried herself – that’s the same.’ I remember her other Berlin photo. ‘She posted a photo of the Tiergarten, too. And that caption said, “Rain in the Tiergarten”. It rained here this morning.’

‘Well, then,’ Jaz says. ‘Just walk up and ask, “are you Holly?” And if it’s not, walk away, no harm done.’

I rub my stomach. ‘I actually feel like I’m going to chuck, though.’

‘Just go and fucking talk to her,’ Chandice calls out. ‘You’ve spent your entire twenties wanting this moment. Don’t ruin it now.’

‘How can she not see you?’ Jaz asks.

‘I’m half hiding behind a tree.’

‘Oh my God. What are you like,’ Chandice says with a laugh.

The woman tucks her camera away and glances around. She looks my way and does a quick double take, then shakes her head and starts towards the river.

‘Oh, fuck. She’s leaving,’ I say.

‘Go! Fucking go!’ Jaz says. ‘I’m hanging up.’

‘Call us back!’ Chandice yells.

I slip my phone into my pocket, unglue my feet from the ground and move. She’s walking at a fast pace and I’m almost at a jog to catch her. My heart thumps, and the adrenaline coursing through my body makes me jelly-like. When I’m almost caught up, I call, ‘Holly?’

She spins, and I gasp. ‘It is you.’

Chapter 16

Holly, Berlin