Page 80 of Matrix

“But you couldn’t control when that happened, right?”

“Exactly, and that was the drawback. I couldn’t do it on command. Still can’t. I’ve tried to get better at it, but it’s hit or miss.”

“Is that why you cut yourself? Was it practice for disassociating?”

“No. That was functional. When I couldn’t take the pain of knowing Blackstone’s still out there anymore, I’d cut myself. That feeling would intensify until I thought I’d explode with rage. That’s when I’d cut line after line in my skin until I left my body. Sometimes it took two or three cuts. But the last time, after he won the election, I went too far.”

“Which is why you ended up in the hospital.”

“Exactly. Scar made me promise to stop, and I have. But Daisy, sometimes I want to do it again. I want to cut until I can’t feel anything anymore.”

“Why?”

“Because it feels like my suffering will never end. Like we’ll never get vengeance on Blackstone.”

“You will. I believe in you. Scar and the others are all determined to find a way to take him down.”

“So far, we’ve failed.”

“But that won’t happen this time. We’ve got witnesses now. At least, I hope we do. The girls still aren’t talking.”

“How’s your sister?”

“Much better. She’s almost through withdrawal, but she hasn’t spoken a single word.”

“How many days was I unconscious?”

“Three.”

“Not as many as I thought.”

“Did it feel like it was longer?”

“Not really. Time is meaningless in that other place.”

“I was so scared. I thought I’d lost you forever.” She wipes a tear off her cheek.

“Daisy, there’s something else I need to tell you. I’ve held something back, and I just can’t do it anymore.”

“What is it?” she asks cautiously.

“You know how I told you I leave my body?”

“Disassociate. Yes.”

“Sometimes, I don’t stay in the other world.”

“Where do you go?” Her tone is guarded.

“I possess another person.”

“What?” She stands and moves away from the bed.

“I drop into their body, and then I can control them.”

“That’s … that’s not possible.”

“But ithashappened.”