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I was starting to get lightheaded just remembering the last time we were in a bed together.
My mind screamed danger, but I couldn’t move.
“She’s awful,” I admitted.“Poor Bella.She was really affected.”
“I mean about you,” she said.“I’ve never wanted to protect someone so badly.”
The unspokenbesides Bellawas there, but I couldn’t bring myself to be snarky enough to add it.Or to joke about how much she loved me.
Because I was starting to get the distinct feeling that she truly did have feelings for me.And I knew for a fact, especially after what just happened, that I did too.
But I couldn’t let it happen.I couldn’t jeopardize this.I needed to be smart.
And fucking my boss was definitelynotsmart.
“You shouldn’t say those things,” I murmured and slowly turned to face her.My eyes traveled up from her chest to her eyes, and my breath caught.
I don’t think anyone ever looked at me with such longing.Her eyebrows were pushed together, her lips in a slight frown, the need formeclear in her eyes.
She was begging me.Silently pleading for me to close the space between us.
But it wasn’t entirely sexual.She looked like she needed a hug again.But this time I was afraid of what it would open us up to.
“I can’t help it,” she said.“You’ve been running rampant in my head.Every night I lie down and close my eyes, I see you.I see you in everything I do.In the blue flowers on my way to work that almost perfectly match your eyes.Every time I catch just a glimpse of a color you wear, I’m immediately checking if it’s you.Even your laugh seems to haunt me, always playing in my mind.I can’t sleep without you haunting my dreams.I can still smell you on my sheets, and I can’t bring myself to wash them because of just how much I need to feel like you’re close to me.I can’t get you out of my mind, Juliette.”
The last came out as more of a complaint than a compliment.
“Sorry to inconvenience you.”I tried to look away, but her fingers found my chin and forced me to look up at her.The need in her eyes was only intensifying.
“That’s the thing, I don’twantto get you out of my mind.I want to hear you laugh all the time.Twenty-four-seven.I want to wake up to you and Bella chatting together in the kitchen.Iloveleaving work to come home to both of you.Do you understand I haven’t looked forward to something in years?I don’t even remember the last time I was actually excited about something, but you’ve changed that.I’m ecstatic to get home.I can’t wait.Because you’re here waiting for me.”
I swallowed the knot in my throat.
“I want you in my life, Juliette.In my arms.In my bed.I need you in every way you’re willing to give yourself to me.I can’t pretend anymore.”
There was no lie.No joking.Her face was telling me everything I needed to know.Everything I’d ever wanted to hear, she was serving it to me on a silver platter.
“And if I don’t want to give myself to you?Just keep it professional?”
Her jaw tightened, and her hand dropped.
“If you can look me in the eyes and tell me that’s what you want, then I’ll leave you alone.But you can’t lie to me, Juliette.”
Looking into her eyes now, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to get the words out.
“I need this job,” I whispered, hoping she could see everything else I wanted to say but couldn’t.
“And you’ll have it,” she said.“No matter how long you need it for.Whatever happens between us won’t change that.”
I tried to look down, but she forced my head back up, this time using both hands to cup my face gently as if I were going to break.
“Look at me.Tell me, Angel.Tell me I’m the only one feeling this way.Tell me you don’t look forward to seeing me every morning.That you don’t wish you were in bed with me every night.Tell me you’ve never thought about how good we’d be together.”
It’s so wrong.And so dangerous.
But she was right.
Every night when I went to bed, I thought about sneaking into her room.Every time I saw her in the morning, I longed to walk right into her arms.