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Maybe some other day I would've taken pride in watching him squirm under my questioning, but today I had no patience for it.My eyes fell down to my wrist, taking in the time displayed on my watch.
Eleven thirty-six.
“Get this sorted out today,” I ordered as I walked past him, grabbing my stuff.“I don't pay you to come ask me how to do your job.Find out what was published incorrectly, fix it, and then get back to the board saying it’s been fixed.It's not that hard.”
“But Lux?—”
“Anything else?”I asked, turning to him, but I was already at the door, my hand ready to pull it open.
He froze under my gaze.
“No, that’s all.I’ll work on it today.”
I gave him a nod and left the office, but not before stopping by my assistant’s desk.
“Get me that report,” I ordered.
“It's already in your inbox,” she replied, her voice low.“It's been there for a few hours, actually.”
I felt a flicker of annoyance, but not as strong as the sinking feeling in my stomach as I realized that because of my obsession with the nanny, I had somehow overlooked something that important.
“Thank you.I'll have a look when I get back.”
I vowed to get my shit together.I had a company to run, and my time away made them soft.Mademesoft.I was usually on top of everything and would've never let anything like this slip through.
I should have fired him on the spot.But instead, I was rushing down to my car and out of the parking lot, not even giving him a second thought because all I could think about was meeting my girls.
* * *
“Panic attacks are not normal, Bella,” Juliette said, giving the girl a look.
Work was far from my mind as I sat down at the diner table, sipping on my hot coffee and looking at Bella and Juliette.Bella had finally decided where she wanted to go, and it was a surprise to all of us.A small diner about thirty minutes away from our house that looked to still be run by a mom and pop and that also happened to have her favorite pie.
The seats inside were covered with an old plaid pattern, and pictures hung on every single wall—many of their family and, of course, their customers throughout the fifty-something years they’d been in business.
In no time, Bella had chowed down on a kid's meal and quickly requested a big piece of pie.The pie was obviously her main goal.It was about as big as her face, and the flavors changed with the season.At the moment, it was cherry.
The diner was quaint, cute even, if I was being generous.I had no idea if she remembered, but we’d been here when she was about four years old and half the size she was now.
When her parents were alive, they had brought us all here for Sunday brunch.I forgot what we were celebrating or if it was just a random meal with the family, but I remembered my sister and her husband sitting in front of me while Bella sat next to me in a booster seat.A seat she didn't need anymore, though sometimes she did still sit on her knees so she could lean on the table and take a huge bite of her pie without any of it falling on her.
I kept watching her, waiting for another outburst, but there was none.
She was sitting next to Juliette and eating her pie as happily as could be.
But I was still left with an uncomfortable feeling.
“So, remind me, what do we do when our chest starts to get tight and we can’t breathe?”Juliette asked.I don't know how we got back onto the topic of panic attacks, but it worried me.As if talking about it alone would trigger one.
It scared me to see Bella like that.To see her unable to breathe, crying, and looking to someone for help when I didn’t know how to help.
I’d just stood there while Juliette took care of it.Useless.
Apparently, that's what I was now.I couldn't work.I couldn't be a good aunt to Bella.Fuck,I couldn't even have a professional relationship with the nanny.
“Call an ambulance,” I replied.
Her eyes caught mine, a smile pulling at her lips.I had to stop looking at her, but I couldn't pull my gaze away.Every single time our eyes met, I got flashes of us together in my office, zaps of electricity ran up my spine, and I was left breathless.