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I paused, not knowing what to say, as she retreated to her door and opened it, giving me one last glance.
“Get some rest, Juliette.Remember what I said.”
And then she went in, leaving her door just a smidge open.Letting me know I was welcome to come in.
Remember what I said?
A lot of things had been said that night, but I knew she meant those three words.I love you.Something I hadn’t said back or I felt like I deserved.
My hand gripped my doorknob, the cool metal burning its way up my arm and dousing my heated skin.
What am I doing?
I forced myself into my room, closing the door behind me, but I didn't even make it to the bed before I was falling to the ground, the tears finally spilling from my eyes.
How am I going to do this?How arewegoing to do this?
I didn't know if I could handle it.Sitting there in the dark, tears streaming down my face and silent sobs racking my body, I knew for a fact that I couldn't.That maybe I wasn't strong enough for this.
And both Bella and Lux deserved someone stronger than me.
Chapter30
Lux
“Iquit.”
I knew we needed to have a conversation in the morning, but I didn't expect this.
It had been hard rejecting her last night, but I knew it wasn't right.If not for her, then definitely for me.I didn't want to turn sex between us into something dirty.Into something used to escape.
And now…
Fuck.
I looked up from my phone and into Juliette’s eyes.Her hair was up in a bun today and she wore a simple crewneck and sweats.Her puffy eyes told me she'd spent most of the night crying.It hurt my heart to see it.I left my door open in case she needed to talk—hoping she did—but when she didn't come in, I took it as a sign that she didn't want me around.
In her hands, she had a single white paper that she placed in front of me.It was the first time a nanny was giving me notice instead of me firing them.I took the paper, reading it quickly.There wasn't much on it, but the first sentence caught me off guard.
Instead of a two-week notice, it was atwo-daynotice, letting me know she was quitting her job and moving out.
Everything came crashing down.All my hopes, wishes, dreams, and I was left to feel the destruction of it all.
It hurt like a bitch.I put myself out there, and all it got me was pain.
But I didn't blame her.She didn't need to be around the daughter of the woman who murdered her parents and made her life a living hell.I might have made it my mission to make her mine, but I would never force her to stay in a situation where she was uncomfortable.
No one could've expected the tragedy that tied us together.Maybe it was why we were pulled together from the beginning.Maybe it was the universe simply trying to repair its mistakes instead of giving me something unbelievable like I originally thought.
The only things running through my mind were selfish thoughts.
I want to tell her that I loved her and that no matter how far she went, she couldn't change what we had.That she would realize it and find her way back.
I wanted to remind her how good we were together.How it felt like we were made for each other.
Then my mind went somewhere else.It panicked.Selfish thoughts turned into desperation.
I wanted to beg her to stay.I wanted to tell her that I needed her more than I had ever needed anyone in my life.That she was the most perfect person for me, and I could not even imagine a life with anyone else.That I would be lonely for the rest of my life if I couldn’t be with her.