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I gritted my teeth to stop the onslaught of emotions she was pulling from me.
I wanted to lean into her like Bella did.Hold onto her and never let go.
How did she do that?How was she able to render us both into crying messes?How was she able to pull the one thing the both of us wanted to forget out of us and bare it to the universe?
Grief was ugly.Twisted.I’d rather lock everything away in a box and throw away the key than do whatever it was we were doing right now.
So I did the only thing I could think of.The only thing that could stop all these ugly emotions from making their way to the surface.The only thing that would ground me.
I kissed her.
I leaned forward, pressing my lips to hers, but I didn’t wait for her to respond.I kissed her like I was suffocating and she was the only oxygen source.Because that’s what it felt like in that moment.
I needed her.Needed her to take all the pain away.
Maybe it’s not just Bella who needs her after all.
My hands came to her thighs, hoisting her up onto the desk.She let out a gasp, giving me entrance to her mouth.Her hands were digging into my shoulders, pulling me closer, both of us grabbing at each other like we couldn’t bear to be separated any longer.
She met my kiss with an equal amount of passion.Her tongue teased my own, like she’d been waiting for this moment.
My hands were traveling up her thighs, and she shuddered against me.I needed to touch her.
I needher.Now.
“Juliette,” I whispered against her lips.“Let me feel you.”
My hands reached under her sweater, feeling her warm skin.Her breath hitched when I met her breast, my thumb hesitantly swiping over her quickly erecting nipple.
“Juliette, tell me this is okay.”
She pulled away to look up at me, her eyes wide and her face flushed.So beautiful.Just like that night, those eyes were begging me to take care of her.Begging me to touch her.To ravage her.
“Lux… It’s not okay.”
Her words had me crashing back to reality.
She’s my nanny.She’s here for Bella.Not for me.
I have to stop.
“Right,” I said, clearing my throat as I pulled away.“I’m sorry.I?—”
Her hands were instantly on my suit jacket, pulling me closer.
“It’s not okay… But I don’t want to stop.Just this once, Lux.One more time, please?”
There was no way I’d ever be able to deny her.I was a goner from the moment I saw her walk up on stage, and now that she was finally giving mepermission, I all but fell to my knees right there, ready to kiss her shoes as a show of gratitude.
“Just once,” I vowed as I started to push up her skirt.She leaned back on her palms, her hooded eyes watching me as I readied her.“Just a taste.”
When her skirt was all the way up to her hips, I gently pushed her chest, laying her down across my desk.She was spread out like a decadent feast just waiting for me to have my fill.Her light pink panties with a small heart sewn into the lace were the sexiest thing I’d ever seen.
She helped me pull up her sweater, baring her bra to me just before she cupped her tits, her thumbs running over her nipples.
Fuck.
“Please, Lux.”