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“I know, sweetie.”
She took a deep breath and leaned back into me.
“My mom used to do my hair,” she said.“This pink bow, it's like the one she got me for Christmas.”
I swallowed the knot in my throat, unsure what to say.
“It's okay to feel this way.The bad feeling inside us—the heaviness—it’s because of how much we loved them.Just because some emotions don't feel good doesn't mean we should ignore them.We feel things for a reason, and the more you push it away, the worse it'll get.”
“When will it be over?”
I pulled away and started finishing her hair.
“Every person is different,” I said.“I still miss mine.But it does hurt less now.”
She turned to me, her eyes red from the tears, but I was happy to see that they were not falling anymore.
“I'm sorry about your parents.”
I wondered how many times she heard that before to know she had to repeat it.
“I'm sorry about yours.”My eyes shot to the clock on the wall.“Do you still feel like going to school?If it's too much, I can have Lux call in sick for you.”
She shook her head.
“I feel better now,” she said and sent me a smile.“Plus, I want to show off my bow.And if I don't get to school, how can you take me out for lunch?”
I couldn't help but smile back at her.
“You’re right.Let’s go!Are you ready?”
“Yep!”
She bounded off the chair and ran to the door, all the tears and grief slowly dissipating.Kids were amazing.I knew she was hurting, and I knew most of the time she was putting on a brave face for her aunt, but seeing how well she could bounce back was astonishing.
I took my time in the kitchen, trying to push away my own grief that sprouted after sharing what happened to my own parents.
But that wasn’t the only thing.
I took Bella to school, avoiding the look on Marci’s face.Maybe she was surprised I didn’t get fired.Maybe she could see right through me.
That didn’t matter.
Once I was back in the house and alone, I realized that I had no idea how to do this.
The truth was, I didn’t want to lose my job.I didn’t want to move on.
It wasn’t about the money.It was about Lux, but not just about her.
It was Bella.
The real question was, what the fuck was I supposed to do now?
Chapter13
Lux
This was the biggest fucking mistake I’d ever made in my lifetime, and as a CEO, I had made countless mistakes.I had learned from all of them, and they had made me the person I was.