Page 81 of Jordan

“There are restrictions on the phone. Only two numbers you can call or text. The web can be used, but it’s limited. Social media apps cannot be downloaded, but games can. Once I know I can trust you, they’ll come off.”

“You’re giving me a phone…” The words come out as sort of a question, but mostly because I can’t believe him. This must be a trick.

“The two numbers you are allowed to call and text are me and your father.”

No way. Is he joking? I stare up at him, trying to pick my jaw up off the floor.

“I can talk to my father?”

His face is hard, but he nods and moves the phone closer to me. I take it and click the side button to wake it.

“There’s no password, and there’s no point in putting one on. The phone is being monitored from the master account.”

“You’re giving me a phone,” I repeat, this time more breathily. As the seconds tick by, this really sinks in.

“I’m giving you a phone,” he says.

I can’t begin to describe the emotions rolling through me. The weight lifted from my shoulders is insurmountable. This is only a small step, but I’ve hardly had to do anything for it. Here I was planning on using my body to make him trust me, and all I had to do was nothing. I didn’t even sign the papers. And not only that, but maybe I’ll get answers now. I can speak with my father and find out what happened.

“Why?” I ask, looking up at Enzo again.

The vulnerability that crosses his face has my heart skipping a beat. He’s looking at me like he cares about me. But that can’t be it. He must have ulterior motives.

“I don’t want you to be a prisoner here, Jordan. I hope one day, we can look past this situation we were both put in.” I don’t miss the way he stresses the word both, and my thoughts from earlier come back. Maybe he was backed into a corner too. Everyone just wants to survive in life. It’s natural instinct. He cups the side of my face, his fingers warm, but I resist the urge to lean into it. “I hope one day you can enjoy being here. Maybe even want to be here.”

That would make everything easier, wouldn’t it?

Chapter Thirty-Five

Jordan

I walk back to my room in a trance, the cell phone heavy in my palm even though it isn’t heavy at all. It’s small. Simple. Brand new. Once I’m in my room, I sit on the edge of my bed and stare down at it for a long time before opening it to the home screen. The wallpaper is a generic blue swirly one that comes with new phones.

There are only four little squares on the home screen—store, phone, messages, web. Basic.

But it’s a phone. It’s a small semblance of freedom. Perhaps an olive branch. Does this make up for what he’s done? No. But it does make it harder to be angry with him. It only solidifies my earlier thoughts that Enzo isn’t someone to be feared. That maybe he could even be—no. No, I can’t think of Enzo as being on my side; as being any sort of partner. Even if we are going to be married, or are married by now, a phone isn’t a reason to give in. I’m not materialistic.

As I stare down at the phone, a pit forms in my stomach.

I can call my father. I can speak with my father—whenever I want.

I can ask him what this is all about. He can give me the truth. Finally, I can get the truth I’ve been looking for since the day in the restaurant when he told me I was going with Enzo. The truth that has kept me up most nights but in bed all day.

So why is it I haven’t called him yet? Why don’t I have him on the phone? What is holding me back?

I want to speak with him, tell him I miss him. I want to know the truth. But what if he doesn’t tell me? What if he lies? Will I know if he’s lying? What if he tells me the truth, and it makes it absolutely impossible to ever get used to living here?

Or worse…

What if he tells me the truth and it makes me hate him? What if it makes me unable to be angry with Enzo? What if this is all my father’s fault and I’ve been fighting Enzo for nothing? I’ve always been a fair person. At least, I like to think so. I place blame where it is deserved and like to stay neutral whenever I can be. So, if my father explains what happened to me and blows the anger I have toward Enzo out of the water? What do I do then? It’s bad enough I’m warring with myself knowing Enzo saved me and my father gave me up.

Why do I need more? Why am I still so angry with Enzo after knowing that?

Because you want to hear it from your father’s mouth.

How will I ever know if what my father tells me is truth?

I click on the phone button to open the apps.