Page 109 of Jordan

Enzo is gorgeous beyond words. And he makes my brain a mushy mess. I want to hate him, and maybe I did for a while, but the more I’m with him, the more I realize it isn’t hate anymore. There is so much confusion, and I can’t figure out what is what when it comes to my emotions.

Maybe part of it is because this was all too soon after the break-up with Zachary. I mean, it’s been less than six months. I jumped into the relationship with him so quickly because I was blinded by the life I thought I wanted.

Do want. I still want that life. I just don’t want it with Zachary.

I think I always knew that, but my father loved him. He pushed the relationship, really helped it flourish. It was almost a coincidence how he and I got together in the first place.

I loved making my father proud of me. It fulfilled me in every way, and I suppose it’s why I never felt the need to go out and cause trouble. Why I was okay with not doing the normal teenager stuff.

He was lonely, and I wanted to be there for him. Ever since my mother died, he’d been lonely. I felt loneliness too, but differently because I didn’t remember her the way he did. All he and I had was each other.

But now, after all this? I can’t help but wonder how much of my life was manipulation versus him actually caring about me. I’ve also realized why I was so pliant with Enzo at the club. Why I’m so responsive to him always.

I like praise. I like making older men proud.

Talk about daddy issues…

I smirk to myself and sip my wine. Whatever. I’ll embrace that shit.

“What’s so funny?” Enzo asks.

I put my glass down, smiling wider thanks to the wine. “Was thinking about how I have daddy issues.”

His brow furrows, but he doesn’t look angry. Amused perhaps. Confused?

“Interesting thing to think about during dinner.”

I shrug. I can’t disagree with that.

“Should I be thinking about something else?”

He holds my gaze and I force away the smile. I didn’t mean for it to come out so suggestive. Oops.

“There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.” His tone is soft but serious. My stomach drops right to the floor. Great. Just what I need. More bad news when I’m in a good mood. Just ruin it, Enzo. Because apparently, I’m not worthy of being happy.

“Okay.”

He takes a steadying breath, clasping his hands together before saying, “I know this isn’t traditional or ideal, but I meant what I said to you the other day. I do like you, Jordan. I’ve been fond of you for a long time, and I don’t mean it in a perverted way. I very much like my women to be women. I never thought of you that way until I saw you in the club, but I’ve always seen how smart and beautiful you were. Matteo is a lucky man to have such a caring daughter. Most of the girls who have a father with that much money are doing unspeakable things to get their records cleared, and I bet you’ve never even been scolded by a cop.”

I hold a finger up as I swallow a mouthful of wine. “I was pulled over for speeding once.”

He smiles, a big bright smile. God, it’s breathtaking.

“Anyway,” he continues, his smile falling as he goes back into being serious. “I’m a businessman. I saw an opportunity, and I took it. Maybe it wasn’t the right thing to do, but we’re here now and—”

“If you’d have asked, I’d have gone with you.”

I’m not sure where the words come from or why I say them, but I think they’re the truth. They have to be the truth, right? I’m drinking, possibly drunk. I wouldn’t lie after this much wine, would I?

“What?” he asks in disbelief.

I take my wine and drink some more, running my tongue along my lips as I stare at the table. I bring my eyes back to Enzo, and say, “If you’d gone about this the right way, I’d have said yes to you. I’d have dated you. I’d have accepted a marriage had I been part of the plan.”

His jaw tenses. His head drops forward, and he sighs. “I’m sorry I took that away from you. I wasn’t thinking clearly.” He looks back up at me, shaking his head, and I believe him. I believe Enzo. Everything he’s ever told me, ever said to me, I believe him. I nod, tears stinging the back of my eyes, but I fight them away. I won’t cry now, not over this. “But my point is you aren’t here just as a payment. If that were the case, I’d be married fifty times over. I’ve had opportunities for this before. I’ve had people throwing their daughters and wives at me. I was never interested. Not until you.”

“Why?”

He shakes his head. “Because you’re you. There’s something about you…” He sighs, reaching for his wine and finishing it. “What I’m trying to say is I’d very much like for us to try. I don’t hate the idea of you being my wife and liking it.”