Page 182 of Jordan

Part of me hoped my father and I could work things out. Maybe I wouldn’t have forgiven him, but I was willing to at least talk to him. Then I get a call that he killed himself. And it was a legit suicide. He left a note and everything. Enzo made sure the best detectives looked into it, and it was real. He actually killed himself, the coward. And blamed the guilt he felt over selling me as the reason. So, maybe he didn’t blame me directly, but what a way to make it my fault without making it my fault. Talk about gaslighting.

We get through breakfast without them asking more questions about my father and without the babies crying. But of course, we push our limits by trying to sit down for a moment to relax together, and that’s when they choose to wake up. The three of us go up to their room, and Enzo and Rafael pick them up before I get a chance. That’s usually how it is. It’s only been a week, but I can already tell Rafael and Enzo are going to be the best dads ever. They’re so attentive, so proud and willing to help.

I lean against the doorframe as I watch them rock their babies, and I can’t help but smile.

Best dads ever and the sexiest dads ever. I hit the jackpot with these two.

Epilogue

Rafael

A year later

I guess this commitment thing isn’t so bad. It’s actually kind of fun, when I don’t think about the fact I’ll be stuck here forever. Jordan and Enzo don’t make me feel that way, and of course neither do my babies—because yes, even though biologically only one of the twins is mine, they’re both mine. Vincenzo feels the same way.

Watching them grow and learn is easily the best part of my day. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of it. Though, I can confidently say I do not want more children, but I’m happy to hang around and help raise Jordan and Vincenzo’s, if they choose to have more. Which, I’m pretty sure they intend to do, and very soon. Vincenzo mentions it every chance he can get. And thanks to my vasectomy, I no longer have to worry about it.

It’s funny. I thought having a child would be horrible, but it seems I’ve calmed down a lot since Landon and Lily were born. I mean, how can I focus on being stuck here forever when I enjoy being here with them? Sometimes I wish I knew where this fear of commitment and being stuck came from. Sometimes I think it’s in my blood, considering my father ran the moment he found out my mother was pregnant. No clue if something like that is hereditary, but it’s the best guess I have.

“Everything all packed?” Jordan calls out from down the hall.

“Yep!” I call back. “Bringing the kids’ stuff down now.”

I grab the two diaper bags and head downstairs. We’re taking our first vacation with the babies. Our first family vacation. I argued we should only go for a week because who knows how we’re going to handle this with two nearly-one-year-olds, but Vincenzo assured me I’d be fine. So, we’re going to Hawaii for three weeks. Go big or go home, I guess. Now the babies are both walking around, they get into so much trouble. The plane ride will be stressful, and dealing with them in the house we’ve rented may be too, as it isn’t baby proofed, but our house isn’t fully baby proofed either. Every time we think we’ve got it all, one of them gets into something new. It’s both funny and terrifying.

Jordan has been talking about the babies’ birthday for months, trying to figure out the perfect thing to do. Though it isn’t cold in Arizona in January, the weather is much nicer in Hawaii, and though the babies won’t remember going there for their first birthday, we’re looking forward to experiencing a lot of firsts with them over their first birthday. Like first vacation. First time at the beach. First time in the ocean.

When I step out onto the porch, I find Enzo loading bags into the back of the car, and Jordan putting Lily behind the safety gate in the front yard. She immediately runs to her brother. These two love each other so much, and it’s amazing seeing it in little humans who don’t even know what love is. They just know they like being with one another, and that’s good enough for them. Landon wraps his pudgy little arms around Lily’s neck and squeezes her tight. She screams and slaps him. He grunts at her and runs off.

Okay, so they mostly love each other.

I chuckle, and head down the stairs to get the rest of the stuff into the car so we can get going.

“Excited?” Vincenzo asks.

“More like uneasy.”

“Everything is going to be fine,” he says.

“I’m sure it will, but that doesn’t help.” He shakes his head. “You sure everything here will be good with you gone for so long?”

“You think I don’t know how to handle my work long-distance?”

I smirk. “Jordan finds you working and you’re going to lose your dick.”

He chuckles. “Yeah, you’re probably right. Elio is going to handle it. Plus, Antonio and Rocco are going to be here.”

One of the babies starts crying, and we both turn to find Landon on the ground and Lily looking down at him. I glance at Vincenzo, and frown.

He holds his hands up. “That’s all Jordan. I don’t put my hands on no one.”

I shake my head and head up to the babies. Jordan already has Landon in her arms, hushing him, but he’s still crying.

“Come here, big guy.” He comes to me, and I hold him to my chest. Jordan picks up Lily.

“Lily, you need to be nice to Landon. Hitting is not nice.”

“And he wants more,” I mutter.