Page 62 of Jordan

I get what Rafael is saying. Truly I do. But why is it he gets freedom to do what he wants, and I don’t?

Because Enzo knows he isn’t going to run away.

But he could. Would Enzo care if Rafael left? Does he have any feelings for him at all? Rafael is free to do as he wants because he isn’t needed the way I am. He isn’t a goddamn payment because his parents fucked up.

I am stuck here. Against my will. I have zero choices. I don’t choose when I wake up because I have to be down for breakfast. Don’t choose when I eat because there are meal times. I also don’t get to pick what I eat because the meals are already made. Sure, I can pick my clothes each day, but I only have what I have. I don’t have the option to go shopping when I want. I can’t go on vacations, can’t get a job…

Rafael gets to come and go as he pleases.

Because Enzo trusts him.

Enzo doesn’t trust me. Why should he? It doesn’t matter because I don’t want him to. I don’t want to be here. There’s no reason he can’t force Rafael to marry him. At least the man sort of wants to be here. He should marry him.

This is such bullshit.

I stare at my sandwich and pick it up. If I don’t eat, I’ll get in trouble.

So, like a child, I force it down, each bite tasting like ash.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Jordan

It’s Thursday evening, and Enzo decides he wants us to have dinner together. Usually he can’t be bothered to do something as simple as eat with me, so I can only assume he’s going to torment me the entire time. I guess paperwork gets boring after a while.

The marriage papers still sit on the table, exactly where I left them. They’re still taunting me, but I’m getting better at ignoring them. Enzo ignores them too. I have only a few days left of the choice being mine.

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking over this whole thing. More so since the conversation with Rafael. It certainly opened my mind up a little. Made me learn a few things about Enzo, but it changes nothing. Not in the grand scheme of things. Though my opinion of Enzo may have softened a fraction, it doesn’t change what he’s doing.

I tried to accept my fate. Tried to convince myself it won’t be so bad.

I have everything here I had at home. My life isn’t much different. It’s not like I went out and did stuff before. The main difference, outside of my location and the people I’m with, is the fact my choices are gone. If I did want to go out, I can’t. Knowing that? It’s too much for me to accept.

So, accepting all this was a failure.

But I did come up with an idea, since the one to make him despise me has failed. I mean, the man pulled a bloody tampon from my vagina after I almost blinded his best right-hand man. If neither of those things has made him hate me, what will? Nothing, that’s what.

So I’ve changed tactics. Officially.

I’m no longer trying to make Enzo hate me. I’m going to make him like me. Going to gain his trust.

If he trusts me, maybe he’ll let me go somewhere and I can escape. Once I’m past that gate, I’m fine. It’s that stupid gate stopping me.

So I spent all of yesterday figuring out how the hell I’m going to do this. And what I came up with is simple. Use my body. It sounds awful, and I don’t like it, but I’ve already had sex with the man—kind of, for about a minute. But if all I have to do is tease him a little, let him fuck me a few times, and that means I can leave—it’ll be worth it. And I won’t ever speak of it again.

Okay, so maybe my plan isn’t only to gain his trust. It’s to distract him with sex, but whatever. They’re practically the same thing in a man’s eyes. Besides, I won’t only be trying to have sex with the guy. I’m going to force myself to be nice too.

“How was your day?” I ask.

He looks up at me with a raised brow. “Fine,” he answers carefully. Like he knows I’m up to something.

“That’s nice.”

He keeps his stare on me as I cut a piece of pork chop. He places his silverware down, folding his hands and resting them in front of his chin.

“What do you want?”

“What do you mean?” I ask, keeping my tone even as I put the piece into my mouth and chew. It’s delicious, as is everything I eat here.