Page 61 of Jordan

“Yes,” he says, lathering mayo onto the thick white bread.

“What is the deal with you and Enzo?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know…”

He glances at me, pausing what he’s doing. “I don’t.”

I sigh and take another bite. I swallow before I explain.

“You with him at the club, living here, yet he’s forcing me to marry him. Why doesn’t he marry you?”

Rafael chuckles as he closes the jar of mayo and grabs the lettuce.

“I don’t want to get married.” I stare at him, and when he looks at me, his smile falls. Guess he realized what he said. “I’m sorry.” I shrug and focus on my food. “I don’t know the full story of your situation. Enzo and I don’t share that sort of stuff.”

“So what then?”

He layers the lettuce, sliced tomato, and turkey on his sandwich. When he’s done, he returns everything to the fridge.

“We have an understanding when it comes to our relationship. It is the way it is for many reasons. I won’t share his because it’s not my place, but I can tell you I’m happy with what I have with him.”

“How can you be happy with someone using you for only sex?”

“Is that what you think?” He raises a brow.

“What else am I supposed to think?”

“Commitments scare the hell out of me. This thing with Enzo is easy. It’s simple. There are expectations and rules. I know what I’m getting when I’m with him and know what to expect when I’m not.”

“So you’re okay with it being about sex?”

“It isn’t just sex.”

“You guys cuddle late at night?” I smirk.

He shakes his head and takes a bite of his sandwich before going to the fridge and getting two bottles of water. He hands one to me.

“Do you know anything about a dominant/submissive relationship?”

If I answer this, I’m going to sound ignorant and childish, so instead, I tell a little lie.

“I guess not…”

“You experienced it on Saturday. Forget everything after that night. Forget all this mess. At the club, being with us, how did it make you feel?” I think about it for a moment, but don’t give him an answer. “Because from what I saw, you were into it. You enjoyed it. You enjoyed letting go, not having to worry. For whatever reason, you trusted Enzo to take care of you. You knew he would. Knew he wouldn’t hurt you, knew he would give you what you wanted and needed. It’s freeing, relieving. Like a breath of fresh air. Enzo and I mess around, but when we have sessions like at the club? The freeing feeling lasts for days, sometimes weeks.”

It sounds familiar. Kind of. My body was sore, but my mind was clear. I knew I could trust Enzo in that room. I gave into his wishes. Trusted him to give me what he promised. I even followed his rules without having to think about it. My body reacted to his, because something in me knew I could trust him. I understand what Rafael is saying, and I can respect that.

“Well, that sounds great and all, but you’re forgetting one big thing,” I say.

“What’s that?”

I pick up my plate with the sandwich on it.

“You can come and go as you please. I’m stuck here forever.”

I walk out of the kitchen, passing Bernice. I shove the plate in her face to show her I have food. She makes a squeaking sound and jolts away from me. I quickly go up to my room and slam the door. I sit on the floor in front of it for a few minutes, breathing and trying to calm myself.