Page 10

ABI
“You want some pancakes, buddy?”
Zeke glances up from his comic book splayed in front of him. His eyes light up and he flips the book closed. “Can I help?”
I smile and nod, already backpedaling into the tiny kitchen.
He skips into the kitchen, beating me and pulling out a bottom drawer so he can reach the top shelf of the cabinet. My lips part and my hand raises so I can tell him not to do that, but I let out a breath and lower my hand. My eyes take in the musty kitchen, complete with yellow, cigarette-stained walls and water spots on the ceiling. Who cares about a drawer?
“Be careful,” I tell him when he climbs up and reaches for the top shelf on his tiptoes.
He grabs the mix and hops down. He’s all smiles as he sets the mix on the counter, and it eases some of my guilt for leaving him last night. I frown at the memory and try not to think about what happened. Instead, I think about the day I have planned for us tomorrow now that I have some extra money.
There’s a stingray exhibit at the aquarium that Zeke’s been in love with ever since we moved here. Tomorrow we’re gonna go all out and get one of those cheesy photo ops with the stingrays in the background, and then afterward we’re having pizza and hitting the arcade. It isn’t much, but it’s more than we’ve had in a while. At the very least, I won’t be working and he’ll have me to tuck him into bed instead of Ms. Gordon.
“Mom, can you get the bowl?”
I shake my head and come back to the present. “Sorry, bud.” I grab the bowl from the other cabinet, and then get the measuring cup and whisk. Zeke is hard at work swirling the mix with tap water, some splashing onto the counter, when someone knocks on the door.
Both our heads lift and look through the living room.
“Ms. Gordon must’ve forgotten something.” I ruffle his hair. “I’ll be right back. Keep mixing,” I call over my shoulder.
I check the peephole out of habit when I get to the door, and I tense when I see it isn’t Ms. Gordon. My stomach lurches, and my instinct is to run and hide underneath my covers like I did last night. I glance back at Zeke, who’s preoccupied with the pancake batter, and then I unlock the deadbolt and swing the door open before I have a chance to chicken out. I have to face her eventually.
“Hey, Kirsten,” I say, my lips lifting into a forced smile.
“Abi, hey,” she peeks around me into my apartment, but I don’t take my hand off the frame. When it’s obvious I don’t intend to invite her in, she nervously looks around and pulls her purse higher on her shoulder. “I was just in the neighborhood and wanted to stop by and make sure you were okay. You kind of disappeared last night and then you didn’t answer my calls…”
“Right.” I put my hand to my forehead and scrunch my face like I just remembered something. “I put my phone on silent when we got to the event and forgot to take it off. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you.”
“So you’re okay then?”
I smile and nod a few times too many, and I can feel the awkward vibe I’m putting off. Judging by the frown Kirsten sports, she notices too. “Of course.”
She sighs and lets her purse fall from her shoulder. “I feel so bad for pushing you to do last night’s gig. Honestly, Abs, I thought it would be easy money.”
“It was!” I wince when I realize what I just said and shake it off. “Really, I appreciate you thinking of me. I’m just weird around those kinds of people, that’s all.”
“Right.” Her gaze flicks inside my shitty apartment for a brief moment before she returns it to me. I’m not even embarrassed by it. Kirsten doesn’t know anything about Zeke’s and my past, so I don’t expect her to understand my gratitude for being able to have this apartment, this life. I’d take it over the one I had any day. “Well, you’re welcome.”
“Mom!”
I turn and the ball of tension in my chest eases at my son’s voice. “Be right there!”
“Sorry,” I say, facing Kirsten. “We were just making breakfast, but I’ll see you tonight?”
She nods and her lips pull into a tight smile. “See you tonight. Tell little man I said hello.”
“Will do.” I smile and wave as I close the door. As soon as it clicks shut, I take in a deep breath and lean against the wood. I feel bad for blowing her off, but I don’t know how I’m going to pretend that nothing happened last night. I don’t know what I would even say if she asked me where I went, or if I’d manage to lie convincingly.
I fucked the future councilman. That’s where I was.
My cheeks burn, and I lift my head toward the ceiling. I’m going to have to get over this. It happened, it’s done, no one has to know, and I never have to see the man again. Tonight I’ll go to work at the club and no one, including Kirsten, will even know what I did the night before. I can get past this.
“Mom!” Zeke pokes my arm, and I shake off my thoughts before turning to him.
His blond hair he got from his father hangs just above his eyes, reminding me it’s time for a cut. He looks so much like his father. Blond hair, blue eyes, and a smile that could melt an ice-cold heart. He’s beautiful, and I pray every day his looks are the only thing he inherits.
I tap him on the nose, and his frown twists into a smile.
“Let’s go make those pancakes.”