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It was a terrible idea, and we both knew it. “It doesn’t really matter because we both know I don’t deserve her.”
Hayes shook his head. “You’re still beating yourself up over—”
I cut him off, not wanting to relive my past. “Liv’s gold. And even if I did want to risk Maya’s nanny for a relationship, it would end the way everything else has ended. I need you to tell me how to keep my head on straight when it comes to her.”
“You keep expecting shit to fail. That’s my thing,” Hayes said with a sad smile. “But what if it works out? I mean, you still like Liv after what? Twelve years?”
“Fourteen,” I corrected.
“That’s the same amount of time that Dad and Mom were married.”
I shook my head, not able to handle it. “That didn’t work out either, if you don’t remember.”
He frowned, about to say something, but Agatha brought us our food.
Hayes looked at me across the table now filled with our meal. “I know you say this is to protect Maya, but I’m not so sure that’s the only thing you’re worried about protecting.”
I glared across the table at him. “Bad decisions have already cost her enough,” I said.
“Bad decisions have cost both of you.”
* * *
I drove homewith the windows down, breathing in the fresh country air and trying to steel my nerves.
I didn’t like what Hayes had implied. That I was only staying away from Liv to protect myself. You couldn’t keep safe what was already broken. Liv deserved better than damaged goods, and Maya needed a stable mother figure in her life.
I had to beg Regina to call Maya the other day, and even that call had only lasted five minutes. Maya spoke more on the phone to Liv, even though we lived on the same damn property.
The house appeared over the hill and I pulled into the driveway, rolling the windows back up and then getting out of the truck.
I heard Liv and Maya in the backyard, playing, and then I heard another strange sound. Something like a bark? But we didn’t have a dog.
Maybe they were watching videos outside or something.
I walked around the house toward the backyard and squinted. I couldn’t be seeing right.
Maya was romping around in the grass with a little furball. A puppy.
Just as I realized what it was, Liv turned toward me, guilt written all over her face.
Oh, hell no.
She got up, rushing toward me, but Maya saw what she was doing and picked up the dog, running toward me with it in her arms. Its little tongue hung out happily in the wind created by Maya’s speed.
“What is that?” I asked.
Maya held him up so I could see his big brown eyes. “Dad, this is Graham.”
27
Liv
Fletcher’s eyes were going to pop out of his head to match that vein throbbing on his neck. “Maya,” he said, “will you takeGrahamto the front yard so I can talk with Liv?”
Her eyes darted between her dad and me. “You can’t take him away, Daddy.”
“Front yard.Now.”