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“I think it’s time they met,” Regina said.

I began pacing down the dirt road, gravel crunching under my tennis shoes. “At her birthday party?”

“We could always come the day before, so we don’t take away from her big day. And since Maya’s birthday is over Labor Day weekend, I wanted to know if she could come stay with me for the break before she has to go back to school on Tuesday.”

My eyes practically bugged out and I began walking faster, not needing a run to get my heart pounding. “You treat our daughter like a burden when we’re together, and then when we’re apart, you barely call. And now you want to keep her with your new boyfriend out of the blue? What the fuck, Regina?” I knew I was coming across harsh, but I’d defend Maya to the grave.

“She’s my daughter too, regardless of how I messed up, and I have a right to her. You may have full custody, but I’m guaranteed at least one weekend visit a month, unsupervised. Unless you want me to hire a lawyer and revisit the custody arrangement.”

“You’d bring a lawyer into this?” I demanded, my chest so tight I could barely breathe. “Because I don’t think a judge would understand your sudden change of heart. Is your boyfriend behind this?”

“I’m trying to start over, damn it.” Her voice grew louder. “I wasted nine years of my life on you, hoping you’d love me, trying to get over how much it hurt to look at my daughter and only see you. I know I’ve been a shitty mom, but seeing the way Ben is with his daughter makes me want to be a better mom, okay?”

I raised my eyebrows. “Ben?”

“Ben Jordan,” she said.

“My old coworker? The guy we had over to dinners when we were married?That’sthe person you’re seeing?”

“You haven’t called him since you left town, and we ran into each other at the store one night. I filled him in on the situation, and one thing led to another.”

So she was dating my old colleague, and now she wanted to bring him to Maya’s party? At least I knew he was a decent guy at work, but when it came to family... “How long have you been seeing each other?”

“Just about six months.”

“It’s serious?”

“We’re living together.”

I turned back toward the house, wanting to get closer to my home, closer to the place and people who made me feel safe. “If Maya wants to stay with you, it is fine with me.”

“Good.” She paused for a moment. “You know, someday you’ll start seeing someone and you’ll understand.”

It struck me how little Regina and I really talked, and I felt guilty. Because she had been trying the last couple weeks, and I didn’t want that to change, for Maya’s sake. “Actually, Regina, I am seeing someone. Liv.”

“The nanny?” Regina asked.

“She’s more than that,” I said.

“How so?”

“I love her,” I answered simply.

Regina was quiet for a long moment. “I liked her when I thought she was just the nanny.”

"She’s still the same person.”

“I want to be happy for you. It’s just hard to know she is what I couldn’t be for you...”

I felt bad for Regina, but we both needed to move on from the hurt of our relationship. “You don’t have to be happy for me. I understand. But be happy for Maya, because she has someone who’s there for her no matter what.” I knew it came out harsh, but damn it, Maya had spent more time with Liv than Regina in the last year.

“Ask Maya about visiting and the party,” Regina said, “and let me know what she says.”

“I will,” I replied and hung up.

For a moment, I just stood on the road, staring out at the countryside around me. This world was so big, so many people, and here I was in this life, with an ex-wife in Dallas, a daughter in Cottonwood Falls, and a nanny sleeping in my room.

Sometimes I wished I could go back and do things the “right” way. But that would mean life without Maya, and I wouldn’t trade her for the world.