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“Yes,” I replied. “Of course I do.”

“Think there’s anyone better out there?”

“Fuck no.”

“Then what’s holding you back?”

I set a burger on my plate. “It’s complicated.”

“For a guy who made it through med school, you can be a real dumbass sometimes.”

I set my plate down, facing him. “You don’t understand. I made those vows to Regina. How can I make the same vows to Liv and not look like a piece of shit to everyone involved? What kind of message does that send to Maya?”

“It sends the message that you know better now than you did back then,” Knox said.

“Do I? Because I honestly thought I could provide for Regina and be a good husband, at least until Maya was out of the house. I was wrong.”

“That’s in the past,” Knox argued.

“And five years from now, when I fuck up again, Liv will be hurt even worse because I made a promise I couldn’t keep instead of being honest about the kind of man I am. And this time, Maya will bewatchingme say the vows I broke.”

Knox shook his head at me. “You’re just—”

“Just what?” Dad asked, coming up behind him with a plate of hot dogs from the grill.

Knox looked at me before smirking at Dad. “He’s just a glorified pill pusher.”

I rolled my eyes at Knox, and Dad chuckled. “Put him away with the rest of the drug dealers, will ya, Knox?”

Knox lifted an eyebrow thoughtfully. “It could be good to have a guy on the inside.”

I scoffed. “On the inside at the city jail? When’s the last time you even used a cell?”

“Oh hell. Guy got too drunk last night and needed a place to sleep it off.”

With a chuckle, Dad returned to the grill, and Knox gave me a hard look. “I swear to god if you hurt her, we’re all taking her side.”

“Like I didn’t already know.”

57

Liv

I sat in the stands with my brother and sister-in-law, watching my nephew play in his summer baseball league. He was at shortstop, knees bent, bouncing lightly as he anticipated the pitch, where the bat would guide the ball.

“He reminds me so much of you,” I told Gage while Farrah took the younger two kids to the concession stand. Even though Levi wasn’t Gage’s biological son, he had Gage’s determination and athleticism.

Gage smiled at the comment. “He has a lot more raw talent. I can’t wait to see what he does if he plays in college.”

I loved the way Gage supported Levi like he was his own son. “Can I ask you something?”

He smirked. “If you ask me to burn that god-awful Ropers jersey you made me buy last year, then I’m happy to report it’s already been done.”

I rolled my eyes at him. “I’m serious.”

“What is it?”

I bit my lip, needing to know the answer but having trouble being vulnerable. Once I plucked up the courage, I asked, “What’s it like being married to someone who’s...already been married and had kids before?”