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“I didn’t fucking leave you; we are just taking a break.” He shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal.

“Well, you can officially make thatlittle breakpermanent because I don’t want anything to do with you,” I fired back, biting a big chunk of my chicken, and moaned at the taste of crispy coating and the juicy meat.

My breath hitched, and my heart jerked when I felt his lips brush the edge of my ear. “I think thatlittle requestis impossible, angel.”

“But you…” I stammered, snapping my eyes to him. “You left me, you… you abandoned me,” I blubbered, feeling the warmth flow down my cheeks before I could stop myself.

Fuck, was I crying?

Why the hell was I crying?

“Katy,” he gasped, his eyes widening as he frantically wiped my tears away. “Fuck, don’t cry.”

I flicked his hands away and scrubbed my eyes with the back of my sweater.

I was swollen-eyed by the time my stupid tears halted.

“I’m sorry,” Lan whispered while our bandmates cast a few concerned glances our way, and my brother even asked firmly if I was okay. I quickly schooled my expression, nodding that I was fine.

Even emotional, I didn’t lose my appetite and went back to eating my chicken tenders like the last five minutes didn’t happen.

I think I had finally lost my mind.

Thankfully, the lights dulled down, and the Sinners took the stage, a distraction I welcomed.

Lan didn’t attempt to speak to me for the rest of the night.

Instead, he folded himself back into his brooding self.

He liked to do that a lot.

The only person Lan liked to be a part of his loner boy shadow was me. Otherwise, he was like a rogue in the wind who let his hair fly while he reveled in the freedom of life.

I could never be like that.

I needed to plan, schedule my day, have a purpose, and an end goal.

It wasn’t like I always needed that, but I’d practiced it too much these past years, so it had become my toxic trait.

Deep down, I was jealous of his carefree persona while I felt restricted by the chains I confined myself in.

Now I didn’t have a purpose. I was lost and confused and angry and also hungry, and I felt fucked by life, barely keeping my head afloat in these murky times.

Later that night, I holed myself up in a nice hotel room while the others went to the after-party. Hotel rooms soon became my home. I lived there like a nomad so that one could actually get a hold of me. I didn’t want to go back to that glass house where he broke my heart and fucked me with undying passion that made me feel free and quiet in the head for the first time in my life.

And now, I was exhausted and stressed.

Lan wanted me to find me, but how the fuck does one find themselves in their mid-twenties when they spent their entire lives feeding on lies.

An unfamiliar ring on my phone snapped me from my thoughts.

Frowning, I thumbed it open. “Hello,” I said in a skeptical tone.

“Katy, is that you?” A sharp melodic voice poured through the line.

“Yes.”

“It’s me, Colette. I’ve been trying to reach out to you forever.”