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CHAPTER 34

KATY

I woke up with a thunder in my heart and a churn in my gut.

My hands immediately curved over my growing belly and very well, I received two swift kicks, which told me everything was fine with my babies.

I drew in a long, shaky breath, which eased my heartbeat a bit. A glance at the nightstand clock told me it was just shy of two a.m., but it wasn’t like the one in my room.

Instead, it was the little dinosaur clock in Luka’s room. The more I stared at it, the more the events of earlier today came rushing back to me and pain crumbled my heart.

Turning to my side, my gaze softened when they landed on Luka’s sleeping form. He had his cheek nestled on the pillow, his pink lips puckered in a pout, and long lashes fanned over his cheeks as he slept so softly.

Desperate to fill the emptiness in my heart, I had crawled into Luka’s bed last night, mustering a fake smile and lying that Lan wasn’t there to read him his bedtime stories. Instead, he had to tolerate my scary voice but he soon fell asleep curled up beside me.

Something about the lying and pretending was not as easy as it once used to be.

Maybe I was changing.

Maybe Ihadchanged.

I missed Lan.

He was gone for less than a day, but I wanted him right here beside me, trying to fit himself in Luka’s tiny bed while his strong arms held us both like a protective shield.

Maybe I overreacted, maybe I shouldn’t have acted the way I did, maybe I shouldn’t have asked him to leave…

But I felt what I felt.

His insult felt like a punch directly inside my chest. Even now, I knew he didn’t mean it, but it hurt. It hurt too much that it felt like every breath I took was burning my lungs alive.

I don’t even know if they’re mine.

My mind replayed what he said before I could stop myself.

Was that all he thought of me?

Was that what all my Lan thought of me?

In my mind and heart, my babies belonged to Lan, and I thought he felt the same way.

But apparently, he didn’t.

All these years together, the trust we built and the kind of love we shared all ended up being questioned right at this moment.

Everything I did, every lie I told, and every moment leading up to now was only because of one reason.

Him.

I did it all in the name of our love; that was my most honest truth.

I sighed, scooting closer to Luka as I snuggled into his warmth.

My body relaxed when he cuddled closer to me and I didn’t know how long I just laid there when a sharp ache split my head in half.

It was so blinding and intense that a gasp left my lips.

Spots crowded my vision, and flashing images flooded my brain, like an unedited movie, so dissonant and jarring that none of it made any sense.