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People liked shiny, pretty things that spoke the right way and said the right thing.

I had no clue how I was going to do it, but I wanted to prove Sabrina wrong.

That Matty Evans’s so-called lunatic sister could also make her own friends.

And I just couldn’t wait to rub it in her face.

CHAPTER 2

KATY

Age 14

The only friends I could rub in Sabrina’s face were Petra, Kim, and Norman.

The three classified front-row nerds of our class. Yes, they were nice people, but they only cared about physics, chemistry, and math.

And I didn’t know anything about physics, chemistry, and math, but it wasn’t hard to pretend. Although they were getting more doubtful about my actual interest every time I got graded.

It was easy to fake my intrigue in the subjects, but that wasn’t the case when it came to actually studying them and producing the result.

It didn’t take long for me to understand that people didn’t want to ever know the real you.

The word friends was just an airy label, one that people used loosely to make you fit into a certain category.

Friends weren’t made of genuine connections, although sometimes it did happen, rarely, to the lucky ones. Most times, friends were made for pure, deliberate transactional relationships.

It was either of the two scenarios. You’re either the popular, pretty, untouchable, or you wormed your way into the jocks,queen bees, goths, stoners, nerds, and the hippies by pretending to be them.

My obsession with food and lack of concrete goals weren’t making me popular anytime soon, so I chose the nerds because they seemed to be my safest and easiest way in.

I just had to carry a bunch of thick textbooks, spend a ridiculous amount of time in the library, and partake in lengthy, boring conversations about things I didn’t understand.

Did I like it? Not really.

But then, did I have any choice? Not really either.

Because I’d rather be with them than alone among Sabrina and her rude parade, who loved to flaunt their smug smiles at me. Although she mostly ignored my presence, she loved to taunt me from time to time, and I just wanted to scream and fight that it wasn’t fair, and that pretty privilege wouldn’t get her far.

It was a term that I learned on the internet about how just being pretty could get you anything you wanted. I wished I was pretty like that. I was kind and nice and good, but why couldn’t I be pretty?

Why did someone mean and cruel and rude like Sabrina get to be pretty and get everything she ever wanted.

How was that acceptable?

I was still a little out of breath when I trudged my feet back home from school. Exercise and sports still weren’t something I loved to do, and it didn’t help that I loved to eat more chocolate than necessary. And it showed with the way I had sized up from last year.

The setting sun spilled glimmering orange lights through the fluffy clouds. I hated getting back home so late, but I needed to hang out with my friends in the library so they could prep for their summer classes, which I certainly wasn’t joining even though I said I would.

I had gotten so good at pretending that it didn’t even feel like a chore anymore. But I was glad today was the last day of school. Middle school was officially over and I would start high school at Bellevue High this fall. Maybe there was a slight chance for me to still make actual friends.

For now, I couldn’t wait to get into the new sweater project I had lined up for this summer break.

The heavy beats of my brother’s drums and the slithering notes of perfectly pitched guitar sounds blended through the air as I neared my house.

Unlike me, my twin was one of the lucky ones. He found himself friends who actually liked him for him. He was no longer the rowdy little kid who was frustrated with the world. Instead, he found his calm in his music—he found his purpose. Along with it, he found his two best friends, Emmie and Mikey, who played the guitar and bass and went to middle school on the other end of town.

Together, they bonded over their shared obsession with music and were a band now.