Page 93

We walked that night and every night after, sometimes to the moon and stars, sometimes to the light of a lantern. On the fourth night, she kissed me. One moment she was smiling at something stupid I’d said, the moon on her face, and the next she was closing the space between us, putting her lips to mine like it was the most natural thing in the world.

And I lost myself in her, just like that. She was a squall, and I was just a lone ship, nothing but her in my sails.

And I’d let her sink me again and again.

All my careful control was lost on me after that, but she didn’t seem to mind. My hands kept seeking her out, brave words tripped off my tongue before I’d even considered them, and I fumbled over myself for her each and every night. My brash honesty didn’t scare her away. Her hands sought me as well. She whispered words that made me bury my face in her hair and thank Toke for all my stupid luck.

And in the end, she chose me.

Chapter Forty-Seven

Fenli

Iwas digging through the trunk in the far back corner when the door opened, and I knew I was in trouble.

“You’re still packing?” came Roan’s voice. “Tell me you are not packing right now.”

I swung around and glared at him.

“Don’t you dare judge me.”

“You are making it impossible for me not to judge you.” He drew up behind me and hauled me to my feet, pulling me into his chest. “What the hell are you looking for?”

I had intended to fight back, but he smelled like soap, and I loved that smell on him. I changed my plans and turned around, burrowing my face into his shoulder and inhaling deeply.

“Most of it,” I murmured.

“Most of it?”

“Most of all of it. I just started packing a moment ago.” It was a lazy confession. I was too caught up in the smell of him, and now that I was in his arms, the warmth of him, to do more. What did I care that he’d packed days ago, and I had waited until the last possible moment, andnow he was judging me for it? He smelled like soap and rain and felt like a cozy blanket in front of a fire. Let the ass judge me.

“You’re a mess,” he said. “Ess will kill you if she heads over and finds you like this. She was packed ages ago. Come on, this is a matter of life and death.” He worked to disentangle his limbs from mine, and I grumbled as he pulled his warmth away. “I mean it. She’ll have your hide. Pack, like your life depends on it. Gods, you’re unorganized.”

He helped me get my things together as quickly as we could. When we were nearly done, and I was in good enough shape that Esska likely wouldn’t kill me, he eased up a bit. We were carefully wrapping my bottles of ink when he spoke up once more.

“Maybe we can make plans for our ceremony on the way out.” I groaned, and he smiled wickedly. “It could be fun, and I bet Ess and Jory would love to help.”

“No plans, no ceremony. I’ve told you, Roan. We don’t need all that.”

“Oh, I think we do. We are getting married, after all. Kinda hard to do that without a ceremony.”

I resorted to whining. “But we’ve already had one. The old one should count.”

“You’re the one who moved the skies above and hell below to make sure it didn’t count!”

I growled, exasperated, and tucked a wrapped bottle into the box with the others. “Well, now I’m saying it should count. I don’t—don’t want to go through a whole day and night of people fussing over me.”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I wouldn’t mind it.”

To that, I rolled my eyes. “You’re the worst. Look at that annoying smirk on your face, even as I suffer. Why do you like being the center of attention so much,huh?”

“It suits me."

I rolled my eyes and double checked that I’d packed all the mapping supplies I’d need while Roan went over my clothes once more. When we were both satisfied, I remembered the parcel up in the loft and went to retrieve it. I climbed the new staircase Roan and I had spent three days building for Goose, so he could join us in the bed we shared. Crawling across Roan’s side of the mattress, then mine, I dug through the odds and ends I kept against the wall and pulled out a package wrapped in linen and tied with a leather chord.

It was a gift from Tovin and Helva’s mother, given to me in secret and under the strictest confidence.I miss my children, she’d said.Make sure they know that. And please don’t let their father hear of this. I carried it down the stairs and tucked it carefully into the top of my pack, then tied the whole thing up.

“Ready?” Roan asked.