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I’d been wanting to pick it up for weeks. Whenever I’d caught sight of it, my curiosity had swelled. Now, the draw was overwhelming.

I shouldn’t take it. It had been a gift, and I was leaving him. But it would be helpful to have on hand. I could defend myself better with it than with the axe, and it would be like taking a piece of him—I buried that thought, grit my teeth, and marched over, picking up the battle sword and leaving before I could contemplate it any more.

I was taking it because I was too smart to turn down something I could protect myself with—that was all.

Without a backward glance, I slipped into the woods.

For good.

I wasn’t ready to join the Godless so soon after losing my own clan. I wanted to be alone for a while, to gather my thoughts and try to figure out who I was if not Toke’s.

I left Goose safe within Roan’s hut and went out to the wolves’ island. Iver’s brother had passed into the afterlife just a few days before, and I didn’t think anyone would be collecting on his canoe anytime soon so that was the one I took from the lodge. It was unique for a person to have their own canoe, but the man had been one of the clan’s lead scouts as well as a craftsman. He’d made it himself and cared for it himself. It would not be missed for some time, and I hoped it would keep my tracks covered. I didn’t need long.

When I reached the island, I found the hut that was in the best repair, and I moved in my things. It was about a mile east of the wolves’ den, and I hoped it was far enough to give them the privacy they needed. The earthen roof was decent. The stone face was crumbling in one corner, but I thought I could repair it. The door needed replacing as well.

I thought about the blue-green color Roan had painted the door of our hut.His hut.

I bit my cheek and pushed the thought from my head. It was time to make my own life for myself, here now, and, when I was ready, with the Godless. Looking back would only hurt.

I needed to adjust. Day by day. Step by step. I’d figure this out. This was what I wanted.

That was what I was thinking when slid to the floor, my back against the wall, and cried into my knees.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Roan

The day was long and miserable. I hadn’t caught a glimpse of Fenli since leaving the hut that morning, and I wasn’t sure where she was hiding. If she was anything like Esska, she was avoiding me. I’d seen my sister twice, and each time she’d glowered at me before turning and putting as much distance between us as she could. I could take a hint.

By lunch, word had gotten out and rumors were spreading. Fenli’s maps, Esska’s hunting. It was news, and it was catching like wildfire. At first it had been only whispers; by the last meal, many had moved on to outrage.

It was then that Esska, defiant as ever, made her trek through the village with two rabbits slung over her shoulder. She brought them to the kitchens, ignoring the looks and the words spoken behind hands, same as every other hunter offering his day’s work.

A small crowd gathered. I pushed my way through towards the front just as a kitchen matriarch came out, blood on her apron and a rag thrown over her shoulder.

She blocked the doorway, not allowing Esska to enter.

“We don’t want your rabbits,” she said. “Your meat won’t be coming into my kitchens.”

“It’s good meat,” Ess said.

“We won’t have it.”

I’d seen enough.

“Her catch is just as valuable as the next hunter’s,” I said, but Ess didn’t let me get another word out. She turned and thrust her rabbits into my hands.

“You’ve helped enough,” she said quietly. Then she shouldered through the men that had gathered.

I went to the bunkhouse and gave the rabbits to Jory. He didn’t ask why when I told him to pretend they were his, and I knew the story must have reached his ears.

When I got back to my hut, Fenli still wasn’t there. I made a fire and tried to make sense of the mess I’d made. Goose sat with me, and I ran my fingers through his fur absentmindedly. It wasn’t until the sky had darkened to black that I realized Fen wasn’t coming back.

My heart pounding, I began to search the hut. Her sack was gone, along with the bulk of her possessions. Even the battle sword I’d made her, the one she’d refused to so much as look at, was missing from its spot on the table.

Shit. How could I have missed it all?

And there sat a note, waiting for me. It had been there all along.