Page 18

“Is this why you took my knife?” I said stupidly.

If looks could kill, holy shit. I was an idiot for bringing it up, and I tried to focus on what was important.

“I—” I stammered. “Why go with them and not us?”

At that, she stilled. Maybe she wouldn’t answer, but I waited all the same. When she did speak, she said it quietly.

“Toke doesn’t want me.”

Her words served to surprise me, then anger me. I also found them to be complete bullshit. Here she was convinced she wasn’t one of Toke’s, and why? All because her lousy father belonged to Runehall? Piss on it. Her mother was one of ours, and that was good enough for me—for anybody—and I’d fight any shit-lip who said differently. Esska’s voice rang in my ears—bring her back, no matter what—and I committed to my next action before I’d taken the time to consider it.

I snatched her right off her feet and tossed her over my shoulder. Ignoring her yelp and protests, I swung back around and began the long walk back. Her kicking and cursing could not dislodge her from my hold, and she wasn’t about to convince me to put her down.

She might kill me later, when her feet were under her again, but I’d worry about it then. For now, I was getting the two of us back with our clan.

Where webothbelonged.

Chapter Nine

Fenli

To say I was angry would have been an understatement.

The decision to run away had been an agonizing one to make. I’d already been emotionally spent by the time he’d caught up to me out by the cedars, and I’d battled myself more than he could have known to make it there. Then I’d had to deal with his arguing, right up until the moment he hoisted me over his shoulder and carried me back to where I’d started.

All my efforts, taken from me.

Only this wasn’t where I’d started.

Our small vessel was quick in the water. Too quick. It had been a long time since I’d been in a boat like this one—with real sails out on salt water—and my nautical experience was slim. Ess and I had kept to canoes and fresh water, on rivers and lakes near the village. This ride was something else entirely, and I didn’t like it.

I spent my time near the bow with Goose, giving Roan as much space as possible. He was busy running the lines and—I don’t know—steering the thing, and so we settled in to ignoring each other. It was fine for a while. Until I heard him taking a piss off the stern.

I swore and turned to face the way we were going. He must have heard me because his chuckle was not far behind. I didn’t give him the pleasure of seeing the blush that colored my face.

Later it was Goose’s turn. He lifted his leg and painted the mast, much to Roan’s displeasure.

It served him right.

I held out as long as I could, but by nightfall, I was nearly sweating, I had to pee so badly.

Roan handed me the pot he’d been offering for a while.

“Stop being so stubborn.”

I took it, annoyed. “Turn around.”

He did, walking back to his side of the boat or ship or whatever it was, and I took a moment to curse my fate up one side and down the other. After checking to see if he was still turned away, I heaved a sigh and yanked down my pants.

Gods above, did it ever feel good to take a piss.

I quickly put myself back together and sent my sunshine over the side, leaning into the hull to rinse my pot in the salt water as best I could. Roan didn’t say a word.

We sailed into the night. Sadly, one discomfort seemed only traded for another. Soon my stomach was pitching with each wave and surge, and I started vomiting. The contents of my stomach splashed into the dark, swirling waters below as I heaved and heaved again. Roan brought me a skin of water and asked how I was.

“I hate you,” I said before I’d even considered the words.

And I did. I wanted none of this—not him, not my clan, not this gods-scorned sea. And I hated him for tossing me over his shoulder and dragging me here. I reminded myself of that again and again, and I triednot to think of the other part of me that had been…relieved. That part that had swelled and saidHe’s come for you. You belong with your clan.That was the foolish voice deep in my mind that would only see me hurt.