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“I’m not,” Silla denies, her eyes becoming glassy. “I need you two, but if you’re not going to show up for me at my worst, then you don’t deserve me at all. I get into my head, spiral, and then hide. I won’t come find you, because my mind lies and tells me that I’m a burden. You’re using work as an excuse, not knowing how to tell me to shove off.”

“No,” I grunt. “The truth is that I did use work to bury myself in, and I regret it. I hate seeing you in pain, there were others helping, so I convinced myself you didn’t need me at all.”

“We’re idiots,” Gray and I say in unison.

Silla sobs even as a giggle escapes. “Yes, you are. This week really sucked, and I really don’t know how I’m going to feel about having my first time with one of the Trio happen in front of my entire class.”

“Truth bomb,” I warn her, grinding my teeth. “I need more of an explanation than that.”

Gray swats her ass, making her gasp, and her eyes glaze over. Oh yeah, our little brat liked that.

“Today’s a practical class, as have been the last few ones. I haven’t attended since I’ve not felt well, obviously. Ayden, Andrya, and Sidney said they don’t want anyone else to touch me outside of the five of you. So they’re the only ones allowed to fuck me during practicals,” she explains.

Chewing on my lip I think about that. “Silla,” I say gently. “Those three have an insane sex drive. Are you saying that they won’t have sex with anyone outside of you?”

“I guess? I was so surprised I didn’t think to ask questions. I’m pretty sure Sidney and Andrya have some sort of sexual relationship, which doesn’t bother me,” she says honestly. “It feels like I’m constantly being served new information, so I’m processing.”

“So am I,” I mutter. This more than anything shows me they’re serious about her. “How do you feel about this?”

“I’m trying to wrap my head around it all. I’m just glad I’m not having sex with a stranger in class. It’s something I’ve really struggled with,” she explains.

“I know. Am I still in the dog house?” I ask her, playing with one of her curls. I don’t expect her to let me off the hook so easily, and I start planning how I can make things up to her.

“Yeah, you are,” Silla says, and she doesn’t seem even a little sorry about it. Turning, she kisses Grayson, and I frown. She’s using my own tricks against me. Ugh.

“I want to be inside you once more before we go shower,” Grayson growls.

There’s a small line on her right arm, and I rub it gently. I don’t remember it being there.

“What happened here?” I ask, my stomach sinking. It’s where her birth control would usually be. Shit.

“It turns out the birth control that’s standard for FRC and I aren’t friends,” Silla says, coming up for air. “It’s driving up my blood pressure, which is why I had the headaches. The hormones also messed up my periods. Patricia removed it yesterday.”

“Okay… what does that mean?” I ask, trying not to jump to conclusions.

“It means Sidney is going to brew me a tea I’ll drink every day that’ll cover me,” she answers.

The ease of her answers belies the importance of her words. Silla had to have freaked when she found this out. My eyes dart to Gray, and while his body is relaxed, his stare is filled with guilt. We fucking missed all of this.

“Okay,” I say softly. I don’t get to ask questions when I wasn’t there to begin with. I won’t make her relive all of that. Taking a breath, I force a soft smile. “I’ll let you get ready for the day, or get another hour. You have a busy day. Gray, make sure you text Sidney for her tea, and let him know she’s with you. I’ll see you later?”

My words are to both of them, but my eyes are on her. Silla looks hesitant, confused by how I’m not fighting this. I will fight, but I’m going to pick my battles for now.

Nodding, she gives me a small smile. “Yeah, I guess you can.”

“Have a good day, Little Hacker,” I say, memorizing how beautiful she looks at this moment.

I want to give her a kiss, but she’s naked, and I don’t deserve it. Not yet. Squeezing her hand, I get up, shoving my feet into my shoes, and walking out.

Life doesn’t give us do-overs, so I need to do the best I can to fix this.

AYDEN

I’m antsy as I wait for class to start, shifting from side to side.

“Ayden, you’re making me motion sick,” Andrya chastises, putting her hand on my arm. “She’ll be here soon.”

Nodding, I take a breath, my eyes scouring the room for someone to terrorize. Seeing the perfect victim, I distract myself for the next ten minutes nitpicking the recruit’s attire. For some reason, Travis can never figure out how to tie his shoes or fix his pants.