Page 9

That’s what I wanted to be this year: a mature, responsible, intelligent adult capable of serious things with serious people.

The semester hasn’t even started, and I’ve gotten drunk the day before our first practice and tried to spirit official school property away into the night.

Once again, Ethan’s voice starts clanging around in my head.

All you want to do is fuck around and blame it on everything but yourself.

“Hope?”

My eyes have gone out of focus while I stare at the floor. I look back up and find Becca watching me. Her eyes are narrowed again, but this time it’s with a trace of concern.

“You okay?”

“Huh?”

She can’t know I was thinking about Ethan.

“You fell,” she says slowly. “Are you okay?”

“Oh. Yeah.” I scramble to my feet and rub my arm. I banged my elbow pretty bad, but Becca’s appearance distracted me from the worst of the pain, and it’s fading now. “Um, good to...see you?”

Good to see you?

I think the fall knocked away the last of the whiskey’s influence, but she’s going to think I’m totally trashed if I can’t start talking like a normal person.

She squeezes her lips together for a second and lets a breath out of her nose like she’s holding back a laugh again. “Good to see you too, Hope. Do you guys mind getting out of the closet now?”

“Oh, I’ve happily been out of the closet for a while.” Iz smirks as they step past me and into the hall. “Hope too. We’re still working on getting Paulina over to the dark side. Jane here is a lost cause. Totally cuffed to a dude.”

If I could elbow Iz in the stomach without Becca noticing, I would. We do not need to air out our dating histories in front of our captain right now.

We find Jane in the hallway with Jim lying at her feet like an oversized guard dog. She’s doing her hands-on-hips, foot-tapping thing and glaring like she wishes she had the whiskey bottle to smash over our heads.

“Uh, should we put Jim back?” I ask.

“You might as well bring him to practice.”

I turn around to find Becca locking up the closet door. It really is symbolic; I doubt any woman could go back in the closet with Becca and her plaid shirt around.

“And of course, you’ll all be there on time and ready to play, right?”

I can’t be expected to keep my crush a secret when she does things like ask if I’m ‘ready to play.’

Iz gives another salute. “Yes, oh captain my captain.”

Becca nods and crosses her arms. She has to know how good that makes her tits look. “Right. See you then. Goodnight.”

Her eyes flick to mine, and she lifts her chin in a nod before turning and heading down the hall.

I exhale for what feels like the first time since she showed up.

“Damn!” Iz shouts once Becca’s footsteps have faded. “We did it! We got Jim!”

“Woo!” Paulina raises her hands, and Iz jumps up to clap them in a double high five.

I just stand there staring at the spot where Becca disappeared around the corner while the two of them hoist Jim in the air. Jane comes over and makes a show of looking between my face and the end of the hall.

“So, Hastings, you want to tell me what’s going on there?” she asks in a voice low enough the other two won’t hear.