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“That dirty fuckingliar.” I glared toward the television contemplating my retaliation.

Before Emma left forHomestead with Lane to watch Jameson’s final race, she bought me a few movies. Me,being board to the point of insanity, turned on Father of the Bride.

Now before I had thisidea to turn on the movie, I was in a euphoric mood at the idea of spendingsome time alone. Charlie and Andrea took the Lucifer twins to Seattle for theday, so it was just me. Although Van was nearby, he agreed to give me somespace this afternoon.

Prior to turning on themovie, I got myself some snacks. Van was also kind enough to stock the freezerwith more ice cream. Not that this was his responsibility, but I think he’dbecome just as hooked on the shit as me. Wavering between Chunky Monkey andBanana Split was somewhat time consuming and a vital decision to be made.

“You’re pregnant andeating for two. You should just eat both.” I told myself. “Yes Sway, excellentidea.”

So I took both pints ofice cream and trotted back to my room to watch my movies. I then decided that Ialso needed some pizza rolls so that sent me back to the kitchen. After I had avariety of foods to choose from and aThomas Kempercream soda, Istarted the movie.

This was one of thosemoments again where I could distinctively say, “That’s where you went wrong inlife.”

I was bawling by thetime the first movie ended, and not in a normal way. It was more like heaving.So there I was heaving, and groaning and drooling and then contractionsstarted. Not bad, but enough I took concern in my stability for the day. Icouldn’t gain any sort of control over myself.

Four hours, an entirebag of pizza rollsandtwo pints of Banana SplitandChunkyMonkey later, I was half way through the second torturous movie—Father of theBride: Part Two.

I couldn’t tell you whyI started the second movie.

Stupiditymaybe?

The words “NotPrepared” was a goddamn understatement.

I actually had to stopthe movie at one point in fear I was heading for preterm labor just based on myanxiety levels.

By the time it wasover, my face was so swollen from crying that I could barely see, let alonebreathe normally. It was similar to the sound a pig makes when it’s trying tobreathe, only worse.

Tissues surrounded mein my bed, along with emptyBen and Jerryice cream tubs. After spendingthe better part of the day hysterically crying while eating ice cream and pizzarolls, I had to evaluate my life. I got knocked up and I became an emotionalbed ridden retard.

I nearly pissed myselfwhen my cell phone rang but smiled when I saw it was Jameson and then thatbrought another round of pure hysteria that I couldn’t be there with him forhis last race.

“H-h-hello?”

“Sway?Jameson asked alarmed.“Are you okay?”

“No!” I sobbed into thephone wanting him here to comfort me. “I’m watching Father of the Bride,parttwo!” The words “Part Two” came out in a rather drawn out dramatic way thatI deemed completely necessary for the situation.

“Oh,” was all he said.I don’t think he was “prepared” for my answer. There was a lot ofunpreparedness happening today.

“I’m having anemotional break down!” I managed to say between my pig snorting and wails. “Iwant my daddy to see me get married! Can you come home like tonight? We can getmarried in the living room.” I suggested, still crying.

“Honey, I would do thatfor you if I could but I can’t.” he explained in a tormented voice. “You knowthis is the last race, right?”

“Yes.” I wailed again. Eventhough this was good news to me, it didn’t help my hysteria. To think that Icould control my emotions while being pregnant was just downright preposterous.

“Sway, honey calmdown,” Jameson soothed in his velvet voice.

“I’m sorry...” Ipausedtaking in a shaky breath and then hiccupped. “I just...shouldn’t have started watching thosemovies.”

“Are you better now?”

“No!” I sobbed again.Just the thought of the movie made me cry again.

This went on for a goodtwenty minutes, me being fine and then all of a sudden breaking down again.

Eventually I did calmdown, only after Jameson sangCan’thelpfalling in Loveover the phone while I ate yet another pint of ice cream.

“I have to go now honey,I have to get to practice,” he told me after I made him sing the song oncemore. “Are you going to be okay?”