Page 122
Story: Black Flag
Approaching her room, Icould see through the window that she was finally awake, glancing around andher hand that wasn’t in the cast resting on her swollen stomach. It tookeverything in me not to run to her but I needed a minute...to gain control. She couldn’t see melike this.
I needed that control Ididn’t have. Taking a deep breath, I pushed the heavy wooden door open. Shedidn’t notice me until I was beside the bed.
When her eyes finallymet mine, I lost what was left and fell to my knees at her bedside, sobbing.When my hands touched hers, I felt the same connections I’d always felt.
Her eyes fluttered.“Jameson?” she croaked out and began crying, wincing in pain as she tried toreach for me.
“I’m...right...here...honey...don’tmove,” I cried out inbroken sobs, my chest tightened as my heart began racing. “I’m so...sorry.” I brought her hand to my wetlips, my tears falling to her ivory bruised skin. “I’m...sorry...I’mso fucking sorry.” My free hand reached for her stomach rubbing it softly. I’dhoped the baby would move for me, reassuring me, but it didn’t happen. Though Icould see on the monitor that the baby was moving, it just wasn’t enough for meto feel.
Sway just let me sitthere, clutching her hand desperately with my other hand over our child, cryingwith her as I repeated over and over again how sorry I was. All the emotions Ihad felt yesterday came crashing back in an instance. The moment I felt hersafe and in my arms, I never wanted to let go.
I jumped when her doorcracked opened a few minutes later.
An older light hairedwoman peeked inside. “Oh...sorry,” she said takingin our appearances. “I’mRenatafrom Obstetrics butyou can call meRen.” She smiled rolling in a largemachine. “I’m here to perform the ultrasound this morning.”
I stood, keeping myhand wrapped around Sway’s, “Should I...uh...leave?”
“No!” Sway panickedreaching for me once again and then wincing in pain, clutching her side.“Please don’t go, please stay!” her eyes were frantic with worry and need.“Please don’t leave me.”
“Sway honey, I have togo soon.” I choked out. “I can’t stay today...Ihave to be at the track. We couldn’t find a relief driver for me.” Dad had toldme that he and Kyle asked around but Justin had to be in Eldora and it seemedno one else was available. Gordon was also the last say of who could get intothe car so he denied anyone we asked for.
Tears spilled over hercheeks. The emerald in her eyes spoke for her pain.
“I know...” shehiccuppedunderstanding as she always did. “Can you stay for the ultrasound?”
“Yes, if that’s whatyou want.” I gently wiped the tears from her cheek, careful not to touch thebruises. I wanted so badly to hold her right then, feel the warmth of her bodyagainst mine and feel that she was okay but I was afraid to even touch her,afraid I’d hurt her. And afraid I wouldn’t let go.
She nodded carefully.“I want...you to see the baby.”
“All right then.”Renbegan opening drawers and equipment needed beforepulling the machine toward the bed. Gently she drew back the thick whiteblanket covering Sway and removed the monitor wrapped around her bruisedmidsection.
After pouring an insaneamount of lubricant on her slightly swollen belly, she moved the wand lookingthing back and forth. “Ah, there’s the little person.”
Sway’s eyes flickeredto the monitor as did mine.
And there, seeing itfor the first time; was my child. A part of me, a part of Sway, a part of us,was inside of her. I was mesmerized. The loud steady heartbeat reassured me thebaby was okay for now. I couldn’t divert my eyes even if I wanted to. That wasmychildmoving around inside her,our child, we created.
“Would you like to knowthe sex of the baby?”Renasked. Her eyes glancedback and forth between Sway and me.
“Oh,” Sway said with ahint of excitement in her tired voice. “Can you tell already?”
“Yes. Do you want toknow? It’s very obvious right now.” Her smile had grown into a full grin.
Grasping my hand withSway’s, I chuckled lightly pressing her hand to my lips. “I want to know if youdo, honey.”
My eyes locked withSway, wide emerald eyes that would never lie to me, heart shaped face withporcelain skin staring back at me and for a moment, I saw our entire livestogether.
It was strange to methat when something in your life begins, you generally have an idea of how it’sgoing to end or how you want it to end. The career you dreamed about your wholelife becomes your reality. The eleven year oldgirlwho stole your heart without knowing it at, becomes the love of your life. Andthe baby that happened by accident, becomes your world.
I’ve known people whohave spent their entire lives planning for the future and trying to predictevery step of the way, subconsciously cushioning themselves for the blow ifanything went wrong. But the thing was,you can’tpredict the future. Every step you make takes you in a different directiontoward another path, maybe even a completely different path. But what happenswhen that future you thought you would never have, reveals itself to you? Youtake it because for being a future you never thought you wanted, it was better.
What I couldn’t getpast was if I blinked, it could be gone.
With her eyes stillfocused on my own, Sway smiled that breathtaking smile for me as though shecould hear what I was thinking, feel what I was feeling.
“I want to know.” Itold her softly in assurance.
Rengrinned widely, herbrown hazel eyes sparkled at Sway. I could tell this was part of her job sheloved, “That right there,” she pointed in between the baby’s legs and I laughedknowing damn well what it was, “Is your son,”
I needed that control Ididn’t have. Taking a deep breath, I pushed the heavy wooden door open. Shedidn’t notice me until I was beside the bed.
When her eyes finallymet mine, I lost what was left and fell to my knees at her bedside, sobbing.When my hands touched hers, I felt the same connections I’d always felt.
Her eyes fluttered.“Jameson?” she croaked out and began crying, wincing in pain as she tried toreach for me.
“I’m...right...here...honey...don’tmove,” I cried out inbroken sobs, my chest tightened as my heart began racing. “I’m so...sorry.” I brought her hand to my wetlips, my tears falling to her ivory bruised skin. “I’m...sorry...I’mso fucking sorry.” My free hand reached for her stomach rubbing it softly. I’dhoped the baby would move for me, reassuring me, but it didn’t happen. Though Icould see on the monitor that the baby was moving, it just wasn’t enough for meto feel.
Sway just let me sitthere, clutching her hand desperately with my other hand over our child, cryingwith her as I repeated over and over again how sorry I was. All the emotions Ihad felt yesterday came crashing back in an instance. The moment I felt hersafe and in my arms, I never wanted to let go.
I jumped when her doorcracked opened a few minutes later.
An older light hairedwoman peeked inside. “Oh...sorry,” she said takingin our appearances. “I’mRenatafrom Obstetrics butyou can call meRen.” She smiled rolling in a largemachine. “I’m here to perform the ultrasound this morning.”
I stood, keeping myhand wrapped around Sway’s, “Should I...uh...leave?”
“No!” Sway panickedreaching for me once again and then wincing in pain, clutching her side.“Please don’t go, please stay!” her eyes were frantic with worry and need.“Please don’t leave me.”
“Sway honey, I have togo soon.” I choked out. “I can’t stay today...Ihave to be at the track. We couldn’t find a relief driver for me.” Dad had toldme that he and Kyle asked around but Justin had to be in Eldora and it seemedno one else was available. Gordon was also the last say of who could get intothe car so he denied anyone we asked for.
Tears spilled over hercheeks. The emerald in her eyes spoke for her pain.
“I know...” shehiccuppedunderstanding as she always did. “Can you stay for the ultrasound?”
“Yes, if that’s whatyou want.” I gently wiped the tears from her cheek, careful not to touch thebruises. I wanted so badly to hold her right then, feel the warmth of her bodyagainst mine and feel that she was okay but I was afraid to even touch her,afraid I’d hurt her. And afraid I wouldn’t let go.
She nodded carefully.“I want...you to see the baby.”
“All right then.”Renbegan opening drawers and equipment needed beforepulling the machine toward the bed. Gently she drew back the thick whiteblanket covering Sway and removed the monitor wrapped around her bruisedmidsection.
After pouring an insaneamount of lubricant on her slightly swollen belly, she moved the wand lookingthing back and forth. “Ah, there’s the little person.”
Sway’s eyes flickeredto the monitor as did mine.
And there, seeing itfor the first time; was my child. A part of me, a part of Sway, a part of us,was inside of her. I was mesmerized. The loud steady heartbeat reassured me thebaby was okay for now. I couldn’t divert my eyes even if I wanted to. That wasmychildmoving around inside her,our child, we created.
“Would you like to knowthe sex of the baby?”Renasked. Her eyes glancedback and forth between Sway and me.
“Oh,” Sway said with ahint of excitement in her tired voice. “Can you tell already?”
“Yes. Do you want toknow? It’s very obvious right now.” Her smile had grown into a full grin.
Grasping my hand withSway’s, I chuckled lightly pressing her hand to my lips. “I want to know if youdo, honey.”
My eyes locked withSway, wide emerald eyes that would never lie to me, heart shaped face withporcelain skin staring back at me and for a moment, I saw our entire livestogether.
It was strange to methat when something in your life begins, you generally have an idea of how it’sgoing to end or how you want it to end. The career you dreamed about your wholelife becomes your reality. The eleven year oldgirlwho stole your heart without knowing it at, becomes the love of your life. Andthe baby that happened by accident, becomes your world.
I’ve known people whohave spent their entire lives planning for the future and trying to predictevery step of the way, subconsciously cushioning themselves for the blow ifanything went wrong. But the thing was,you can’tpredict the future. Every step you make takes you in a different directiontoward another path, maybe even a completely different path. But what happenswhen that future you thought you would never have, reveals itself to you? Youtake it because for being a future you never thought you wanted, it was better.
What I couldn’t getpast was if I blinked, it could be gone.
With her eyes stillfocused on my own, Sway smiled that breathtaking smile for me as though shecould hear what I was thinking, feel what I was feeling.
“I want to know.” Itold her softly in assurance.
Rengrinned widely, herbrown hazel eyes sparkled at Sway. I could tell this was part of her job sheloved, “That right there,” she pointed in between the baby’s legs and I laughedknowing damn well what it was, “Is your son,”
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 114
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 117
- Page 118
- Page 119
- Page 120
- Page 121
- Page 122
- Page 123
- Page 124
- Page 125
- Page 126
- Page 127
- Page 128
- Page 129
- Page 130
- Page 131
- Page 132
- Page 133
- Page 134
- Page 135
- Page 136
- Page 137
- Page 138
- Page 139
- Page 140
- Page 141
- Page 142
- Page 143
- Page 144
- Page 145
- Page 146
- Page 147
- Page 148
- Page 149
- Page 150
- Page 151
- Page 152
- Page 153
- Page 154
- Page 155
- Page 156
- Page 157
- Page 158
- Page 159
- Page 160
- Page 161
- Page 162
- Page 163
- Page 164
- Page 165
- Page 166
- Page 167
- Page 168
- Page 169
- Page 170
- Page 171
- Page 172
- Page 173
- Page 174
- Page 175
- Page 176
- Page 177
- Page 178
- Page 179
- Page 180
- Page 181
- Page 182
- Page 183
- Page 184
- Page 185
- Page 186
- Page 187
- Page 188
- Page 189
- Page 190
- Page 191
- Page 192
- Page 193
- Page 194
- Page 195
- Page 196
- Page 197
- Page 198
- Page 199
- Page 200
- Page 201