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I looked down at it and back up at him. Wait, he was serious? “You’re serious?”

“Holy shit, man! Greyson!” Jaymes yelled as he walked right up to us.

No.No, no, no.

Not Jaymes. Notnow.

Jaymes was…a friend of mine. To put it loosely. His eyes quickly darted between Greyson and me, questioning.

Greyson stood up, and him and Jaymes embraced in some sort of a man-hug-handshake thing. They both wore shit-eating grins too. All while I flailed around inside my brain, trying to figure out exactly what the hell was happening.

“I heard you might be coming back! How the hell are you?” Jaymes.

“Good; I’m good, man.” Greyson.

“Hell yeah. What are you up to tonight?” Jaymes.

A shrug. “Nothing much, still settling in.” Greyson.

So, they knew each other, that much was obvious.

“No way; you’re coming over tonight. Party at my place. We’re celebrating. You down?”

Greyson’s eyes darted to mine briefly. “Yeah, sure. Sounds good.”

“Awesome! And I see you’ve already met my girl!” Jaymes curled his arm around my shoulders possessively.

Greyson’s eyes fell on mine again, all traces of that perfect smile gone. I’d only known him a short time, but I knew the look of disappointment when I saw it.

I palmed Jaymes’ face, gently shoving him away from me. “Not his girl,” I clarified.

“Not yet.” Jaymes smirked. “Still working on her; she’s playing hard to get.”

Greyson’s eyes narrowed, confused.

I rolled my eyes, desperately trying to bring humor to the situation where there was none. “Give it up, Jaymes. It’s not happening, and you know it.”

But the truth was, we kind ofweremore than friends, or less than friends—I don’t know. It was complicated. I’d never had to explain it before, or nevercaredto explain it before, but when I’d first moved here, Jaymes and his crazy group of friends had given me a distraction I needed from life. The drinking, the parties, the chaos, it all drew me in. I spent more nights at Jaymes’ than I didn’t. It helped me forget, for at least a little while, who I was, and all of the fucked-up bullshit that came along with it.

And while he could be an epic a-hole, and most nights I could hardly stand him, other nights he was my closest friend.

It’s just the way it was with us.

When he was finished with his random hook-up of the night, he’d slip into his bed with me and we’d both fall asleep. And that was it. I never crossed that line with him. Not once. But I guess that’s where the lines had blurred, because I knew he wanted more even though I didn’t.

I didn’t have it in me to want someone like that.

Not until Greyson came along, anyway.

Nine Before

“YOU WERE SOright about that one,” Sara said as she pointed at Greyson from across Jaymes’ living room. “He. Is...Yum!”

I slapped her arm down. “Don’t point at him!” I whisper-yelled.

She laughed. “So, since you can’t have him, can I?”

She was joking, but I still felt a pile of bricks drop into the pit of my stomach. “Don’t even think about it.”