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Out in the open, in front of the entire school, for the whole world to see…he was kissing me.

I couldn’t help it. I sighed, and it collided with his next breath.

He kept kissing me. Kissing me, and kissing me, and kissing me. Like it would last forever. Like it would never end. I didn’t want it to end, but at some point, it did.

He pulled away but kept his eyes on mine, hands wrapped firmly around my shoulders. “Why does it have to be written in the rules that we can’t take the time we have left and make the best of it?” he said, adding a soft, “I’m willing to try if you are.”

And, yep,there it was again. The drip, drip, drip of the sand creeping up on us. I didn’t have any fight left, though; I didn’t have anything left to say. I wanted him. Any piece of him, for any amount of time, for however much it would hurt later…I wanted him.

“The way I see it…it’s going to suck either way, so why not be together—now—while we can?” he asked, still holding onto me. “And after…when I’m gone…we can call each other, or write, orsomething.I don’t know.” He shook his head. “But it doesn’t have to be the end.”

I swallowed thickly, slowly pulling at the strings of my acceptance, dragging it through my doubt and fear and unease, and releasing it with a resigned breath…and a small, almost imperceptible nod. I knew full well that I was more than likely agreeing to heartbreak, but the thing was…my heart was already broken. It already ached for the day he’d leave. So he was right. We might as well take advantage of the time we had left. And maybe, just maybe, I’d be lucky enough to get some time after that, too.

He smiled at me then. More genuine and heartfelt than I’d ever seen, and then he pulled me into his arms, simply holding me there for a long while. His breaths hummed in his chest, singing in my ears.I could stay right here, all day—for an eternity,I thought to myself.

But the minute-bell rang too soon. I peeled myself away from him and picked up my backpack that had somehow found its way to the ground, turning back towards Greyson after I slid it on. “See you at lunch?” It was the only thing I could think to say.Good one, Jess.

“Yeah,” he bit his lip, smiling shyly, “I’ll take us somewhere off-campus.”

“Okay.” I nodded.

But we both still stood there, trying and failing to hide our smiles like two scared, love-sick idiots, while the quad completely emptied out. My cheeks warmed, and my chest did, too. My heart was pounding like crazy. I felt our smiles melt into my bones and slink into my soul.

I looked down at my feet, sucking in an overdue breath. “Okay,” I repeated, and finally found it in me to turn and walk away.

Greyson slipped his fingers around my wrist and gently tugged me back towards him. “Wait.”

“What?” I asked nervously.Since when was I so nervous around him?

Probably since you admitted in so many words that you love him, and he chased you out of class and told you he loves you too, and then you yelled at him a little bit, but he kissed you anyway, and then you both agreed that you want to be together, and now he’s looking at you like…that.

We’d gone from one extreme to another, and I don’t think a single one of my thoughts had even had the chance to settle yet.

“I was thinking that I’d like to kiss my girlfriend again before I have to go to class,” he said, and his words stopped me in my tracks. Along with the heart-melting smile lighting up his face.

“Come again?” I said. I couldn’t help but smile back.

“I said I’m going to kiss my girlfriend again,” he repeated, and what was it with boys and them not asking me if I actuallywantedto be their girlfriend? But why did I like it so,somuch when Greyson did it?

I was going to say so—the former—just to give him a hard time, but his lips shut me right the hell up.

I might’ve whimpered. Just a little.

His mouth curved up in a secret smile against my mine in response, and it immediately became my favorite thing in the entire world—his smile that I couldn’t see but could wholly feel against my own.

And then the way his fingers dug into my hips as he pulled me right up against him…that became my second favorite thing.

The rise and fall of his chest on mine, the beating of his heart pounding against my own, the way he slowly tilted my head back and slipped his tongue between my lips and into my mouth, deepening our kiss: third, fourth, and fifth.

It washed everything else away.

But I still wondered, for a brief moment, in the middle of that kiss, how many favorites we would accumulate in the time we had left.

Fifty-nine Before

WE SPENT ALLof our time together after that. Hanging out, taking long drives to nowhere in particular, talking under the stars and the moon like we used to. Watching movies, going out to eat, swimming—in his pool, and in mine, too. Working on homework. Drawing, writing.

Holing-up in our rooms, doing all that making out I’d dreamt about too many times.