Page 50
Story: Before & After You
It was selfish of me, entirely selfish, but I hated the words that came out of his mouth then. Hated the idea of him leaving, of never seeing him again. But I understood. Of course I understood. Ihadto understand, because I’d planned on doing the same exact thing for as long as I could remember.
Getting away. Starting over. Forgetting everything I left behind.
It’s just that I didn’t want to forget Greyson. And I didn’t want him to forget me, either.
Forty-three Before
WE LEFT THATconversation as two different people. I could feel it, the pieces of each other we’d helped heal. And maybe that’s why fate had brought us together in the first place. Maybe that’s why I’d been drawn to him from the start.
I think I was okay with that. With walking away from him knowing we’d at least given each other that invaluable gift.
Because I’d never felt more at peace. With everything. With myself. With the road laid out before me.
I knew I still had a long way to go; I knew there was still a lot of darkness I would have to work through, but I could also see that small, beautiful sliver of light at the end of the tunnel now. I could feel the hope I sometimes clung to settle into my chest and make its home there.
It was going to be okay.
I was going to be okay.
Forty-four After
I KNEW Iwas in for a world of interrogation the next time the girls and I got together—okay, yeah. Let’s be real; I was expecting no fewer than fifty messages in our group chat by the time I got home. And that’s exactly what I got.
I fall into bed with a bone-deep sigh and open up our text-thread.
Distraction.
Distraction is exactly what I need right now.
Sita:It’s like…you think you know someone and all of their truths, and then you watch a man eye-fuck her like she’s his last meal, and HAVE WE MET BEFORE?! Hi, I’m Sita. It’s so nice to finally meet you, Lady Enchantress, Mistress of the Temple of Cock-Tease, Seduction, and Debauchery.
Maggie:Oh my god. Ignore her. Seriously, though… You two were kind of intense.
Kat:Haha! Shit was definitely intense. I mean, damn, Jess. I didn’t know you had it in you.
Kat:Literally.
Sita:Except we did.
Sita:…Know that she’s had it in her.
Maggie:OMG you two!
Sita:Oh, please! If we didn’t know it before, we’d know it after tonight.
Kat:This is true.
Sita:The question is, what was it like? Where does he rank among your handful of lucky captors?
Kat:Hahahahaha
Maggie:“Lady Enchantress”“handful of lucky captors”??? How much did you have to drink tonight, Sita?
Sita:Not nearly enough.
Maggie:Agree to disagree when you start sounding like a Tudor from the sixteenth century.
Kat:Bahahaha! Seriously gonna pee my pants right now.
Getting away. Starting over. Forgetting everything I left behind.
It’s just that I didn’t want to forget Greyson. And I didn’t want him to forget me, either.
Forty-three Before
WE LEFT THATconversation as two different people. I could feel it, the pieces of each other we’d helped heal. And maybe that’s why fate had brought us together in the first place. Maybe that’s why I’d been drawn to him from the start.
I think I was okay with that. With walking away from him knowing we’d at least given each other that invaluable gift.
Because I’d never felt more at peace. With everything. With myself. With the road laid out before me.
I knew I still had a long way to go; I knew there was still a lot of darkness I would have to work through, but I could also see that small, beautiful sliver of light at the end of the tunnel now. I could feel the hope I sometimes clung to settle into my chest and make its home there.
It was going to be okay.
I was going to be okay.
Forty-four After
I KNEW Iwas in for a world of interrogation the next time the girls and I got together—okay, yeah. Let’s be real; I was expecting no fewer than fifty messages in our group chat by the time I got home. And that’s exactly what I got.
I fall into bed with a bone-deep sigh and open up our text-thread.
Distraction.
Distraction is exactly what I need right now.
Sita:It’s like…you think you know someone and all of their truths, and then you watch a man eye-fuck her like she’s his last meal, and HAVE WE MET BEFORE?! Hi, I’m Sita. It’s so nice to finally meet you, Lady Enchantress, Mistress of the Temple of Cock-Tease, Seduction, and Debauchery.
Maggie:Oh my god. Ignore her. Seriously, though… You two were kind of intense.
Kat:Haha! Shit was definitely intense. I mean, damn, Jess. I didn’t know you had it in you.
Kat:Literally.
Sita:Except we did.
Sita:…Know that she’s had it in her.
Maggie:OMG you two!
Sita:Oh, please! If we didn’t know it before, we’d know it after tonight.
Kat:This is true.
Sita:The question is, what was it like? Where does he rank among your handful of lucky captors?
Kat:Hahahahaha
Maggie:“Lady Enchantress”“handful of lucky captors”??? How much did you have to drink tonight, Sita?
Sita:Not nearly enough.
Maggie:Agree to disagree when you start sounding like a Tudor from the sixteenth century.
Kat:Bahahaha! Seriously gonna pee my pants right now.
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