Page 30

Story: Before & After You

I liked him. So much. He was funny, and smart, and kind. He was flirty, but not pushy. Charming but not douchey. He wrote music, and played instruments, and sang like he was thegoddamnlove child of Shawn Mendes and Brendan Urie, and somehow,somehow,he had easily become my favorite person.

Butfreaking hell, I was too damn stubborn. There was still a part of me—a part that could stick itself where the sun doesn’t shine, for the record—that was holding onto my resolve, onto the determination that Greyson would make the first move.

And for whatever reason, it felt important. That I wait for that.

If it would ever even happen.

He cocked his head to the side as I watched him, his eyes narrowed, assessing. I’m not sure what it was that he was trying to figure out, because I know my feelings were written clear across my face, laid bare for him to see, yet there he stood, less than a foot away, quiet. Simply studying me.

His eyes roamed the features of my face before landing on mine and pinning themselves there.

I sat there defiantly, my gaze never wavering from his.

And there was something about the way we looked at each other then. A push and a pull. A storm ofwhat ifsraging behind our eyelids.

I swallowed thickly, biting down on my lip to keep from saying the things that desperately wanted to break free:Just do it, Greyson. Kiss me! I know you want to; I can see that you want to.

Why won’t you just do it?

His gaze trailed a path from my eyes to my mouth, and then back again, and I knew it. I fucking knew it.I know you so well, Greyson!I wanted to scream and shake him until he understood.

It was killing me, the way he was looking at me like that. Like he intended for me to see exactly what it was that he wanted, even though he didn’t have the guts to say it…or do anything about it.

I tore my eyes away from him, focusing on the ripples of water traveling methodically across his pool instead. It must have severed our connection for him too, because he finally broke the silence. “You gonna get in or what?” he asked lightly, as if the past few minutes had never happened.

“Nope. I’m good here,” I immediately replied, looking back at him with a forced smirk, attempting to will the tension away, too.

But then he slid his wet hands around my calves with a smirk of his own. “Guess I’ll be pulling you in then,” he said, his voice low.

And you know what?Screw it,I thought. This was bullshit.

I reached down into his pool and cupped a handful of water in my hands, and then proceeded to splash it right in his smug face.

He sputtered, wiping a hand down his dripping-wet features. “What was that for?” His eyes were comically wide, but I had a point to make here. Whatever it was.

“Becauseyou, Greyson!” I yelled a little louder than necessary, and he looked even more confused than he did a second ago. I didn’t blame him. Even I had no idea where I was going until I got there. “If we’re going to befriends,” I continued, deciding to draw my own imaginary lines in the sand, “you can’t just, like, casually touch my legs like that, and flirt with me, and look sofriggin’attractive sometimes that it hurts, and youdefinitely,most certainly, cannot just rip off your shirt whenever you damn well feel like it, and then proceed to dive into pools in slow motion!” There. I said it. And fuck! It felt good. I mean, where did he get off friend-zoning me while constantly doing all this shit, anyway?

“Rip off my shirt?” He smirked, more than a little amused. “And dive into pools in slow motion?”

I pointed my finger in his face, digging it into his cheek. “And that! No smirking. It’s like you know how hot you are when you do it. So, knock it off!”

He burst out in laughter. I’m sure he would’ve been doubled over if it didn’t, you know, involve him drowning himself. “Oh my god,” he said, catching his breath. “I fucking love you, Jess.”

And, yeah.

Record. Scratched.

Heart. Stopped. Mind. Obliterated.

Stick a fork in me; I wasdone.

Twenty-five Before

“YOU KNOW WHATI mean,” he quickly said, choking out a cough and clearing his throat. And holy shit, but was heembarrassed?

Oh my god,hewasembarrassed.

That was a first.