Page 37

I was alone in the dark now, my own little flame. Flickering and faltering in the wind, but it was enough.

“Jessica?” Elizabeth asked, ripping me from my thoughts.

“Yeah?” I asked, more than a little apprehensive. I dropped my spoon back into my bowl of cereal and turned around to look at her, my eyes unintentionally narrowing.

“Could you keep an eye on the boys for me? For just a few minutes? I need to run into the restroom, and they just started eating.

“…I sure would appreciate it,” she added hastily.

“Um…” I swallowed. It was weird.This was weird, right?Yeah, it was totally weird, because she’d never, not once, asked me to help with the twins before. And what the hell did I know about keeping babies alive? Not just one, but two of them.

Nothing. The answer to that was nothing. But the only response that was willing to jump off the tip of my tongue was, “Sure.”

I mean, how hard could watching two nine-month-olds eat their dry Cheerios be?

“Thank you,” she said, smiling, genuine—both the words and the pleased tilt of her lips.

I didn’t know what else to say, so I didn’t respond, turning to the twins instead. They were cute, I’d give them that much at least.

I walked across the kitchen and pulled a chair over to their highchairs, sitting down in front of them. “So…Reagan and Ashton…” I said, and then laughed at myself. I’d never been around little kids before, but I’d been around these two enough times to know that they couldn’t talk yet. Not anything beyond the cute babbling and giggles and occasionalMamaandDadathey were capable of.

They laughed, too, smacking their hands down onto their trays. Cheerios bounced into the air and back down, again and again. They thought it was hilarious. I stole one of their Cheerios and tossed it in the air, catching it with my mouth. Ashton giggled, and Reagan followed. So I did it again, and they burst out in laughter again. I couldn’t help but smile, and then my smile shifted into laughter the harder they giggled.

Who would’ve thought Cheerios could be so damn funny?

Reagan looked at me with wide, excited eyes, bumping his fists together. Ashton squealed before doing the same fist bumping motion.

I mimicked them with my own hands, and their eyes grew even wider in excitement.

“They’re signing ‘more.’They want you to do it again.” I was slightly startled by my dad’s voice, but I didn’t show it.

“Oh,” I said, standing and quickly sliding my chair back over to the table. “That’s cool.”

“They seem to really like you,” he said, an icebreaker. One of many he’d attempted over the last few months, but like every other time, I wasn’t sure what to say.

What I was startled by, though, was the way I was having a hard time grasping onto the anger I usually felt when he tried.

I think I was too tired to be angry, too drained. So I answered him, with the nicest words I’d directed his way since moving in. “Yeah, I kind of like them too.”

Maybe I’d given him all the anger I’d had left to give the last time we were in this room together.Doubtful.

He smiled in response, a slow, genuine tilt of the lips.

It immediately made me uncomfortable. Itchy, and weird, and…uncomfortable. So I walked away. But as I turned the corner and made my way up the stairs, I found that I was sort of smiling, too.

Just a little bit.

Because of Ashton and Reagan,I told myself.

Thirty Before

I WAS STARTINGto resent allthings Greyson at this point. But at the top of my list? Was the way he perfectly filled out those stupid fucking football pants of his.

It was obnoxious. Obscene. And irritating as hell.

“Why are we here again?” I whined for the millionth time.

“Oh, shut up,” Sara said. “I told you, a few more pictures then we’ll head over to Jaymes’ place.”